Poem Title : Passing Rain

Passing Rain
Promises built on a foundation of mud..
And, yes…
It is too late to keep these promises
Ghosts of what a friend use to mean.
I feel as though I am struggling to find myself,
Needing to make up all of the time I have wasted, – to find myself?
Finally catching up I rest – panting, gasping, and trying to catch my breath
And I fall behind as the golden leaves once again fall into my palms.
The scene is surreal.
The wind whisks up the leaves and they brush against my legs as I stand still
Totally numb from all feeling.
Give me something, for I can not take this…
As you sit at an all you can eat character assassination feast
This is the night
With me as the main show.
And once again I am in the car stuck in the mud, wheels spinning
The drivers sick of this game with Nature – screaming to the sky for help
And still getting no where.
I Scream for you.
So loudly that the glass shatters and crashes upon my faith and crumbles to the earth
It is not about religion. It is about faith…
That one thing stretches deeper and wider into me than anything else,
Like the purified water that trickles off of my skull.
I don’t really know what I’m asking anymore..
In fact I think I’ve lost myself in the question…
So I bow my head and return to the maker, helpless as I always have been.
I need your help to get through this
Forgive me for ever losing sight,
I was blind, like those words you whispered in my ear.

Date Published : 10/30/03

Author : J.A.D. © 2003

My x-rays came back and I don’t have any broken bones or any bone damage. It came as such a friggin big suprise to me.

I went back to the doctor, and he gave me some other meds I should take for the next 6 days, if they don’t work.. I’m supposed to call him again.

I changed my carriers. Starting November I will have a different provider.. (for cell phone service) new number and all. Yay. It’s about time. And so that is that, so far.. on my first phone call to the new company – I had to speak to a supervisior… to complament the person taking the call. His name happened to be Jason. Woo go figure.

Work has been just that…. work. It has been okay.. I don’t really have anybody cool or stupid to talk about… more over.. just everyone is regular and everything so less…. outrageous when you handle customers like I do.

Blazers opened the season yesterday – and they lost. Record : 0 – 1

I feel as tho I am still struggling to find myself and am like a car with wheels in mud.. spinning.. using all of my gas.. and still getting no where. But that will change really soon now.

The two things I have going for me are my family and Sabrina, and in that same breath….

I am disappointed. In one person.. as I have been the past 24 hours or so since I’ve learned what I’ve learned. This is all I will mention of this, and I will say no more.

*shakes head* whatever. who cares, its too late to keep promises anyway.

Promises built on a foundation of mud.

NBA Season starts NOW! Yay!

I went to the x-ray people today.. to find out they just wanted to find out if my jaw was broken.

So they took x-rays of my jaw. What Idiots! And the woman gave me attitude when asking me if I got in a fight or somethin. I’m all.. “No.. I have pain in my left side —- ” so she cut me off and was all.. “Well thats fine! I just need to tell the doctor what he needs to look for and we don’t x-ray muscle.” Heh.. got me mad. I left without paying a charge. (I think you have to pay a co-pay) I was like.. SCREW that. I didn’t want to find out if its broke. I can tell if it is.. its NOT. Okay, I’m jettin. heh.. nobody said anything… but nobody was upfront *shrugs*

And…. Sprint still hasn’t called… *looks at clock* Do you Really think It’s going to happen? Me neither.

I’m sittin back.. chillin.. to CLASSICAL. Yes – the song.. Beethoven’s 7th Symphony. Woop woop

Nothin else goin on.. *thinks* nope.

Oh…. Robert took tomorrow off so I won’t seem him until Monday. *smiles*

K – I’m done now.. I swear.

Ciao