Hey
A few nights ago I blogged this on another blog of mine.. but I felt I could post it here now.
I’m tired of feeling like I have to keep everything inside, I want to just tell anyone but then I also have this sense of reality that keeps me from doing so.
My gut feels like it is full of regret. My heart feels heavy, I feel like I’ve made a mistake I can’t go back on again.
I mean, I have already done this before… yet as a foolish being– here I am again.
Ugh.
The most pleasure I’ve been getting in my life recently is when I get to watch a movie or go on a long drive. It is in these times that I really end up forgetting about my situations I am in… it lets me live in a false state.
I just want things to get better, I don’t want the judgemental eyes to be seen looking down on me, and for this overbearing weight to just be lifted.
This is all very general, with no specifics.. but right now thats how I want to keep it.
And… I was at the Mall of America and Nikki Six was there. I hadn’t a clue who it was. The other night I found out by hearing a song from their group.
Anyway, here are some lyrics that were sung in the song– which I really liked.
“You can’t quit until you try.
You cant live until you die
You cant learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie.
You cant breathe until you choke-
You gotta laugh when your the joke
And there’s nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive.
just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful!”
Recently I haven’t been able to find many words to post comments on others blogs. I go, I read and am left with nothing to say that… well sometimes I know it wouldn’t sound nice, other times I just know I don’t have anything worth saying.
Worth.
And… I have continued my job search. I have even enlisted with a jobbing source now to try and help me find a job. I am nearing the deadline of applying at Target. THEY ALL SMELL THE SAME!!! Yes, it somewhat drives me insane after working at them for 2 and 1/2 years haha.
Kay
Thats all for this post.. – for now!
just Pray.