I haven’t updated since Friday, and then I just added that mega quote. I figure its far past time that I updated with something other than quotes doing the bulk of the talking.

Have you ever apologized for something to someone, but expected an apology in return? You know what I’m talking about. You realize you were in the wrong, but you also realize the other person was too, so you apologize and then except one in return.

I think we have false expectations.

Well sometimes it doesn’t work out the way we wanted. Sometimes all you get is “it’s okay” and you are left feeling like you are watching a show with a cliffhanger which will never complete itself.

You start to think to yourself “what is their deal, why can’t they just apologize?”

I have – past and current, found myself to get riled up over the fact that the other party is “stubborn” and unwilling to say “I’m sorry”

What I am talking about isn’t over anything big, but it covers a broad sense of big things and small.. I like this quote (no- it isn’t terribly long), but I agree with it.

“A rattlesnake, if cornered, will sometimes become so angry it will bite itself. That is exactly what the harboring of hate and resentment against others is – a biting of oneself. We think that we are harming others in holding these spites and hates, but the deeper harm is to ourselves” – Eli Stanley

The act of apologizing/forgiving is what I am called to do. I am called to Love. When we forgive, we release the negative feelings/emotions towards whoever. It should be more liberating than anything else. Instead of trying to seek out your own feelings and trying to get an apology back, one should feel glad that they’ve taken the initiative and mended fences, made sure things were taken care of on our side (all of this without harboring any further negative feelings).

And then it hit me. I read over this post, and got forgiveness and apology mixed in together. I have it figured out. When we apologize for something, we still feel like we have been wronged and that it still needs to be made better.

An even better and more fitting quote to sum things up, how to feel and how to react even when you don’t receive the apology you may have deserved or wanted is “Love is an act of endless forgiveness” – Jean Vanier Basically, we should see and think of others higher than ourselves, it is that simple.

And that my friends is the key to forgiveness. It is an act of Love. Be the bigger person (in a sense) where you don’t need an apology because you’ve already forgiven that person whether they said it or not. I just lectured myself, so don’t feel like I was talking to anyone in particular.

So my life, it has been alright. The job at US Airways isn’t what they made it out to be in the least bit. Something that appeared too good to be true, really was. I am making the best of it, because we do get those 19 credits after 10 weeks of working for the company. It will help me with my loans (by pushing back the repayment date).

I haven’t been hanging out with anyone lately but I do work with one of my friends, so in a way I’ve been hanging out with someone almost every day haha.

Oh, on my tests for my job, I’ve been getting pretty good scores, all in the 90’s – today (the easiest test) I got 92%, which I am actually really bugged at myself at for getting so low. I missed some really easy questions…

I am currently reading Searching for God Knows What.. so I’ll tell you if it’s any good. I’ve heard good things about it. I also want to pick up this book called Velvet Elvis. People from college and some other friends have recommended it to me. I can just eat up books like this… weird, because I usually am not big on reading books. Unless of course you give me this type of writing. This is worth reading…. (in my humble opinion).

Alright, I’ve rambled a little, given a little update, and its late. So I am going to go… read!

just Pray.