Hey,

Things went from.. eh.. why even care.. I feel broken and alone…. then I had blessings pour in. They are nice. I like to refocus… its always good.

to update everyone.. and then give everyone a little insight on stuff… here ya go

Becky didn’t call me back because she was mad at me because of what Emily told her.. … and because she also told her that all I wanted with her was a relationship.. not mentioning that right now I’m just looking for a friendship… and indeed.. that is what I’m looking for. Friends.. not relationships.

No worries with that anymore… Emily told my parents that “If I think I have a chance with her I have another thing coming because she doesn’t have any interest” So.. I took that as a hint.. and tottally closed any option for that. I’d still want a friendship because when we talked she was a pretty good friend.. but we’ll see how things work out.. She knows my side of the story.. but I dont know… I’m not holding my breath on that.

Then later on that night and the next I felt like crying.. I’ve felt so… broken. Like my whole spirit and my whole sense of me has been broken. Its not really a happy feeling…

I talked to Tara for a while… and then again for like the past few nights.. It has been a huge help. I haven’t really been talking about this stuff for the most part… but just talking.. like friends do. Its a wonderful thing… it really is. I’m not sure where I would be right now if we hadn’t had these conversations. I thank God for her.. she has really helped.. and its hard to explain how it even is helping.

I’ve thought about everything with Emily.. and I’m not sure what to do.. how would Jesus react to everything? How does everyone here think I’m doing? What should I change? I’m going to be praying over this… its kind of bugging me… I understand things can’t be like they every were before.. but what is the best way to handle this? thats kinda what I’m lookin for right now… everyone keeps telling me I’m doing a good job so far.. but still.

This Saturday my brother is going to church with us… that’ll be good. I’m looking forward to that… believe it or not. I’m gunna try to get him to go to 2|4|2 afterwards.. he says he wants to get involved and this and that.. and was pretty interested in it when I told him about it.. so we’ll see.

Anyway.. I think thats all I have time to type out right now.. I feel like I’m going to fall asleep while typing this.. infact.. I haven’t changed my position once the whole post and I keep closing my eyes while typing.. haha.. yeah its usually a sign that I’m tired.

Goodnight people.. Take care & God Bless.

Thank God for every bit of life you have while you Pray Hard.

Ciao!