Pre-wedding

It is only a few days away and I will be a married man.

It is kind of a crazy thought. I never really thought that it would be that much of a big deal for me. I suppose in some ways it isn’t, yet in other daunting ways it is bigger than I had previously thought.

Our wedding. Some joke and ask if you can really even call it a wedding with only about 20 people going. We had invited about 50 people. All of my people dropped our except for Jeff (a groomsman) and Emily (a guest). Now if you were to ask me at any point in my plannings if I thought that those two would be the ones remaining after everything… I’d probably have guessed Emily. Perhaps even Jeff, he has been pretty good in the whole thing. I think I’d be more surprised that if you look at everyone I call a friend… (and even that.. go to the inner circles) 2 would remain. Notably though.. Emily was my bestest friend for years and years until it blew up. Then we have had a patched.. repaired friendship. Unfortunately never the same. Jeff on the other hand I’ve only known for about 5 years and met through work.

Now, granted – if I had a best friend at work… it was him without a doubt. I guess if I am trying to not be bitter about friends or family who aren’t showing up… if I focus on the mere fact that I have 2 people close to me going… well.. truth be told it still makes me a little sad.

It’s my big day embarking on a new life. As much as the event is going to be small and low budget… I just… I don’t know.

Of everyone in LifeLock who I thought would go.. and still be close friends with me? I thought Jeff would be around, but I was pretty hurt when Amanda and others just seemingly disappeared without a trace. Ugh, STAY ON TOPIC JASON.

Anyway.

I’ve had some really bad luck, but this goes further than I can express for those who are showing up. Despite all the circumstances surrounding everyone. (Maryia and myself are both unemployed and hosting the wedding 100% out of pocket)

Yes. fun times.

I guess I don’t have much else to say for now. Tomorrow is the big day.