Small Group
Hey there,
This month (and starting last month), I have been going to a small group at my church.
Yes, me.
Every Tuesday, the wife and Ara go to an event. She has a women’s group, and Ara has a kids’ meet-up; there isn’t much for me to do. I previously took the rest of the kids to the mall or spent time doing other random things in the area.
Then there was this “Leadership” group that opened up. It was about exploring how to be a leader within the church – I found it while looking for a men’s group to get involved with. Since it was open, I decided to give it a try. I also had to convince Lijah to play during this time with Luca and some other kids that needed childcare, which is why I didn’t get involved in groups sooner. At first, he did not want to. After a few weeks of going to the mall and other things, he softened up to the idea.
So, I went.
It felt pretty awkward for me. I think the whole thing was geared towards extroverts, while I am very much an introvert.
In the first few weeks, the group primarily covered topics on which I had gained experience from my corporate life. How to communicate with people, and how to say no. How to Say No: It’s Okay. Staying at the table.
Staying at the table? Yeah.
The whole concept was that when things get tough in a relationship, stay. Don’t leave, if it’s in a small group or otherwise.
Throughout the meetings, I tried to speak my mind when topics arose that I disagreed with, such as the notion that Jesus felt compelled to stay at the table with the disciples out of some obligation. I think God understands us; He knows we are knuckleheads – and if anyone were to get that, it’s Jesus. Look at the foolishness he dealt with, especially with his own apostles, who most of the time had no clue what he was talking about.
I mentioned that many want to be in a relationship within the church but fail to get connected – not for lack of trying. I took a step further and mentioned that I’d love to be in a spot where I felt like I had to stay at the table, because I hadn’t been able to achieve that kind of relationship in well over 10 years – and not for lack of trying.
What else did they discuss? Ways to steer conversations, and how to keep things at a pretty even keel if things get heated. Ways to talk to people, knowing that the questions you ask can impact different people in different ways: plan to be prepared, and other things along these lines. Nothing really held new content for me.
I think it was okay. Something that would have helped me in this event: Name tags. I’m terrible at remembering names, and we only said our names once at the beginning of each session. This made it fairly impossible for me to remember anyone’s name I didn’t already know.
I provided feedback stating that these topics were covered in some way, shape, or form during my professional career. He was surprised by this, but I mentioned that maybe it’s because I’ve always worked for larger companies that focus on user satisfaction (Amex) and leadership (Amex and P3). He expressed to me that it wasn’t the norm.
Then he thanked me for coming. I’m pretty sure he thanked me at least five times over the past five weeks. Always making a point of thanking me for coming. Side note: Sometimes I feel like being thanked for coming to an event makes it feel like I’m a guest or something. Like- I get the feeling this isn’t my church- or perhaps that I’m not an insider (if you will), but rather someone on the outside looking in.
It’s an odd thing.
The other odd thing? After each session, I’d linger a bit afterwards. I’m hoping to find someone who will make eye contact with me and engage in conversation. I saw most others engaging in discussions, but maybe this was just an extroverted thing? As for me, each time I was met with disappointment. After some time had passed, I’d end up clearing out of the room on my way instead, to get the kids.
Anyway, the small group is over now.
It was probably a good thing I went. I provided a different perspective – and, outside of that, I was able to connect with Denise and discuss the work I do. I enjoyed talking with her. I also talked shop a bit with Ben (the other leader of the group) as well.
end quote: {[“Fight for the things that you care about. But do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg]}
just Pray