Year: 2011

September.

Can you believe it? In a few days it will have been 10 years since 9 | 11. How fast time moves.

Last week was my first week at Chase. It was a far less desirable outcome than I had secretly hoped for. A whirlwind week at that.

A picture of my training area…

A quick recap: The job makes me sick to my stomach. I can hardly eat a single meal in a days time. My chest consistently feels like there is a spring that keeps winding up, with no let up. A building pressure. I feel anxious a lot. Sigh. On top of that I am also having a difficult time keeping my concentration on the task at hand while at work.

They told us that we have 3 tests that we must score a cumulative score of 85% or better to pass training. On the easiest test I scored 88%. Surely one of the lower scores in the class. Two more, another quiz and a final. We shall see. It’s not the easiest stuff in the world and sometimes I feel so defeated… so alone. I can’t seem to accurately describe things… I just lose the words.

On Tuesday when training resumes I’ll be in the spotlight in front of the class showing how much I truthfully don’t know. Fun times indeed.

Maybe one of these days I’ll find a job that’s a good fit.

On other news- big news at that, my dad was laid off. Yeah- it’s a first in his life that it’s happened. Now he is looking for work and applying for unemployment. That was a trip, I mean he is the hardest worker I know no matter the circumstance or situation, he gives his 110% at all times. How could this happen to him of all people or out of any person?

Hopefully all of these events will segue into something even better. I just can’t help but think that jobs are so hard to come by… even bad ones.

This week Sky leaves for Portland. She shall return the following week. Considering that we spend so much time together – it will be really weird to be apart for any time at all. I’ll miss her, but I’m sure the time will be good for her & well spent with her family.

Last bit of info was that we took Willie to the ER to get checked out as some of his meds were doing some not-so-great things for him. Turns out he needs an MRI, so now that’s in the pipeline.

Here he was in the hospital, with a Cardinals game on in the background.

Jake has been pretty cute lately. He crawls up on my bed at night and he keeps me company nearly all night. It’s becoming a normal thing.

I think that’s it. I’ve started watching Grays Anatomy lately & I must say I really like the show. I’m starting behind a few seasons from the current but, I like it. I’ll probably rent the seasons I haven’t seen from blockbuster to catch up.

I suppose that’s all I have for now.

just Pray.

Tomorrow I start the job at Chase. I am so very under enthused about this job. Gotta keep it positive!

Hard to do.

So last weekend we went to Los Angeles and then drove down to San Diego. It was a fun weekend but there were times that were trying. Then this weekend we went to Flagstaff, Sedona and Prescott. That too was fun, even if it wasn’t as cool as it was the prior weekend.

Here are a couple of pictures I snagged:

There seemed to be less frustration this time around. It’ll be a good way to end the weekend and start the full time work back again.

Not sure if I really spoke on this, but the job with my old co-worker didn’t turn out to be something I could rely on fully. In fact- I had asked if they thought it would be a good idea for me to turn down the Chase job knowing that the upside is so good, but they told me what I was not looking to hear. They said that I should focus on finding a full time job rather than focus solely on the opportunity.

It’s been a very good weekend and I don’t feel like updating any more tonight.

just Pray.

www.jshox.com

A good pair of headphones.

That’s what I want.

Music is important to me- even more than that would be the sweet sounds that emit from the headphones or stereo.

I need the rich tones, the smooth melody to put me in a trance and for that crystal clear audio to take my mind away from things. Ah yes, that is what I have been missing. For sure.

Music. A simple little tool that can be used as an effective release.

There are some wicked headsets that make you think you are listening at the recording studio. Worth it? To me? Oh yes.

Beats audio? No. They are nothing more than a fancy social symbol that those with money buy and that those without money buy because they crave to have that elitist appearance. Yep, I just said that. My take? The sound is not rich. It has bass, but clearly isn’t the clearest headset on the market when spending that kind of money.

You don’t have to agree.. but hey its an honest review. Just sayin’. I’m an audio snob. I don’t care who makes it as long as it serves it’s purpose how it should.

On the market for great headphones but don’t care as much about the status symbol? Go out and listen to Skull candy Aviator headphones. If those don’t spark your fancy then there is a pair of v moda crossfade headphones that will make you want to do nothing less than dance.

Thats all I have for you. The sound makes the song.

Also with my recent observations on drivers in Phoenix, this should be a bumper sticker as it’s noted there is a direct correlation: Why is it that when the temperature rises the drivers IQ drops?!

just Pray

Hey hey!

Well the markets went crazy the past few days since I had last updated. Kinda what I expected. Up 500 points, down 600, up 500. Craziness.

So on the job front I have some news. Sears told me they wanted me and then never called me back. I called them day after day and was told they would call me back to bring me in. I never received a return call and eventually got tired of waiting around. I ended up applying for yet another job at Chase and since then have been offered the job to work for their Help desk. I would be supporting their Paymentec customers. It seems like the best offer out of the few recieved. I’ve since told both US airways and Stream that I had to decline their offers. Now I’m in the free and clear for this job. It starts on the 29th.

In other job related news… Brandy was offered a job at IU Health. I’m glad for her. God really came through big, and now she has her foot in the door for other job opportunities that may arise in the future.

In a serious note and without any way to segue into the topic, I’ve been looking up the conditions of depression. It seems as if I have been in such a state for a couple months- if not more.

I guess a lot of it started in Gaston. Then it just kept growing with attempted but ultimately failed attempts at turning things around. I’m not really sure what to do. I think the only other time I felt this way so consistently was when I attended Cascade a few years back. I know we all go through good and bad times, but it seems really quiet lately when I pray. I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have much of a purpose. I know things are bad when I start losing my sense of purpose. I highly doubt the job that I’ve been offered will help in this area. A job where I’ll be lost amongst the multitude. Sigh

I’m really not trying to be negative, in fact I know that I am fortunate to have been offered a job.

Anyway… Moving on, I will start providing some care to Willie next week and going forward. Resuming the part time job I had a year or so back.

hmmm, there really hasn’t been much else going on. Drug testing and whatnot- nothing crazy interesting.

Until next time.

just Pray.