September.

Can you believe it? In a few days it will have been 10 years since 9 | 11. How fast time moves.

Last week was my first week at Chase. It was a far less desirable outcome than I had secretly hoped for. A whirlwind week at that.

A picture of my training area…

A quick recap: The job makes me sick to my stomach. I can hardly eat a single meal in a days time. My chest consistently feels like there is a spring that keeps winding up, with no let up. A building pressure. I feel anxious a lot. Sigh. On top of that I am also having a difficult time keeping my concentration on the task at hand while at work.

They told us that we have 3 tests that we must score a cumulative score of 85% or better to pass training. On the easiest test I scored 88%. Surely one of the lower scores in the class. Two more, another quiz and a final. We shall see. It’s not the easiest stuff in the world and sometimes I feel so defeated… so alone. I can’t seem to accurately describe things… I just lose the words.

On Tuesday when training resumes I’ll be in the spotlight in front of the class showing how much I truthfully don’t know. Fun times indeed.

Maybe one of these days I’ll find a job that’s a good fit.

On other news- big news at that, my dad was laid off. Yeah- it’s a first in his life that it’s happened. Now he is looking for work and applying for unemployment. That was a trip, I mean he is the hardest worker I know no matter the circumstance or situation, he gives his 110% at all times. How could this happen to him of all people or out of any person?

Hopefully all of these events will segue into something even better. I just can’t help but think that jobs are so hard to come by… even bad ones.

This week Sky leaves for Portland. She shall return the following week. Considering that we spend so much time together – it will be really weird to be apart for any time at all. I’ll miss her, but I’m sure the time will be good for her & well spent with her family.

Last bit of info was that we took Willie to the ER to get checked out as some of his meds were doing some not-so-great things for him. Turns out he needs an MRI, so now that’s in the pipeline.

Here he was in the hospital, with a Cardinals game on in the background.

Jake has been pretty cute lately. He crawls up on my bed at night and he keeps me company nearly all night. It’s becoming a normal thing.

I think that’s it. I’ve started watching Grays Anatomy lately & I must say I really like the show. I’m starting behind a few seasons from the current but, I like it. I’ll probably rent the seasons I haven’t seen from blockbuster to catch up.

I suppose that’s all I have for now.

just Pray.