Year: 2009

When you are working the time speeds by- but I’m sure that will change.

Time was already going quickly before I came back here – now its been a week.

Lets talk about work. Okay then.. so I walked into work on Thursday and surprised a lot of people. I guess nobody expected to ever see me again – Jennifer and a few others gave me a hug. She was the most surprised of them all…

It turns out that the day before I returned someone in our team moved into my desk. He rummaged though my stuff and other people took what they wanted. I walk in to work missing a phone. Haha, I am still borrowing someones while they find out where mine is. If they ever find it – if not then I suppose I will just have to get a new one.

What else.. I returned to a ring of 500+ emails. I took me practically all day to go through them. Then on Friday I returned and started finding out about the new systems they had rolled out (in the months I was gone). It was easy.. I expected as much.

Then the weekend- ah yes. I got a surprise by having Michelle talk to me for the first time in months. Among that my car was barely making it through the few days I was going to work – she was in bad shape. It would be quite costly at this point to repair her for anything long term. I decided to go car shopping. My family and I went to check out a few and after finding out that we couldn’t see all of the one’s we had planned on – we went to the one that was probably the least likely for me.

It was at a Chevy dealership. I know. Two things are like smoke alarms. First it’s at a Chevy dealership- second.. its at a dealership. No bueno- at least not when buying used. I met the saleslady, she looked at my parents – looked at me and said “is this going to be Your car?!” I told her it was. She said “how exciting, your first car!” and I looked at her and asked her to guess my age “maybe 16?” haha. So anyway my dad checked out the car and said it was very good mechanically- worth what they were asking. So I asked them how much I could get for my car (if anything). After spending what became most of the day in the dealership – at about 4:00 on Saturday we left with my new-ish car. A Ford Focus.

Yep, she is a 2005 two door zx3 SES edition. It was a car that I had been looking into for well over a year. This one happened to be a great fit and had everything I was looking to have in a car. Reliable, good on gas and not stripped to the bone. I got it, and I am pretty impressed with her. She is a nice car – leather seats, sun roof and a sound system I like listening to music on. haha. I am done with sports cars for now – Probes are not in my future (the car)..

It has been a highlight in my otherwise kind of drab week of being back. It’s been hot – and work has just been unloading bad news. What bad news? Well I won’t have any vacation time at all until next year. Any time I take off for the rest of the year will be unpaid. If I leave the company anytime before next year I will have to pay the vacation time back – and that would be quite costly.

They are transitioning our team for Customer service more than the back end administrative work we had been doing for the whole time I’ve had this job. The past four days everyone on my team has been on the phones- and it is only a matter of time before I’m on them as well.

I went for a new position within the company – on my second day of being back I learned that they had an opening. I would have the same director (hold that thought), different manager – and a slightly different job function. It would be further away from the phones. More of being a liaison between the legal department, sales, and member services. I think I could handle that- now it is just a matter of time. If I get it – great. If not? Well.. then I have other things in store for me.

The director. Ah yes, I was at the corporate office checking out the job on Friday when she stops and looks at me. “its great to see you!” and I smiled. She said “but I have to ask, can you get any skinnier?” I said “no, probably not” and she said “do you eat anything at all? I mean really – look at you” and I just smiled and nodded. She then said “oh.. maybe its because I’m not wearing my heels so I am looking at a different part of you than normal” yep – that’s probably it…

I got a letter from an very close friend which ended “I realize that life is better off without you in it..” and that wasn’t nearly the worst thing said.

And I was planning on visiting Leah but ticket prices went up this week. I was planning on visiting Hyun but there is a likelihood I won’t be able to do that – depending on how far north in Cali he will be.

Things are always changing. JJ is still looking out for a job but I have probably talked to him a few sentences through text since leaving…

Tomorrow I will resume the rat race. The hustle and bustle is here.. *sigh*

Se la vie…

just Pray.

It never fails.

Every time I have posted something about JJ being quiet or withdrawn, I press the “publish” button and suddenly within minutes he is back to his old laid back self. It’s ironic because he doesn’t have access to this blog. So it isn’t like he could be reading this and then changing.

Anyway…

It has been a VERY busy week. More busy than anticipated.

I went to visit my brother on Friday. I checked into the hotel the state was paying for at around noon. I was getting my things out of my car, turned and closed the door and paused.

Crap. Where is it… no.. it can’t be… (as I look in the car and now see my keys sitting on my shifter). UGH. What am I supposed to do? I am too far for anyone to come with a spare key, and I don’t have any other way to get anywhere. I attempted in breaking into my car. I was unsuccessful. I could have- but I think I would have broken the drivers window in doing so. I twisted a metal rod enough to reach one of the door locks, but it wouldn’t grip it enough to push it to “unlock” . This was especially bad because I was going straight back to Phoenix after I was done with my visits. After waiting a little bit, walking around to various places trying to see if they had something I could get into my car with – I gave up. I called the locksmith. He came out and had the car unlocked before I was even there to see what they were doing. Quick- indeed.

I then went to visit my brother. It kind of topped off the day. One conversation led to another- about moving places, Portland, Phoenix.. and things got into a heated argument. It was the first time we both were heated but didn’t raise our voice or get in any physical altercation. It couldn’t of happened given the circumstances, but it was still a new experience. I left the visit fuming- I couldn’t wrap my mind around what went down and how some things seemingly haven’t changed.

The next day I visited with my brother he addressed the issue. It was also a new experience for me. Things usually are left not dealt with- and on my side it wouldn’t have done any good to address the same – old – issues. It was good, I was impressed with him. He is talking to some people internally who are very much into God. I think it is doing him good, he even told me how his friend and him prayed about the situation before he came out to visit with me.

Obviously that made the last part of our visit harder to say goodbye. It was sad. It was kind of classic though- we played card games called “War” and “Goldfish” for about 3 hours. Yes, I did say Goldfish. So we changed the rules (from not remembering everything) but it was still fun.

I left late that night to my hotel. Slept wonderfully. Things were looking up, especially now that I had my keys in hand.

Next day I started on my way to Salt Lake City. I drove on – past Oregon and Idaho and into Utah. It was great driving weather. Temperatures in the 60’s and 70’s. Not long after I got into Utah I started to notice that my amp meter was reading higher than the “normal” range on the dash. Ugh, what is this? I kept an eye on it – and it seemingly kept going up. I was in the middle of nowhere, so I was going to try and make it to the next exit and pull off to see if there was something I could do (the whole time talking to my dad on the phone). As soon as I told my dad my plans my headlights popped up and down about 10 times and my gauges read all different readings. I pulled over on the side of the road. My dad said to turn her off and check under the hood.

I opened up the hood and the battery had exploded. Battery acid was all over the place. My key was useless. I might as well had left it locked in my car, because turning the key was doing nothing. Thankfully I have VZ Navigator – and was able to look up towing places in the area and call them. My view? Well.. it was like this:

Mile Marker 370 has a new profound meaning for me.

I waited for about an hour before the tow truck came. At that point the sun was already well on its way to being set.

Help finally arrived…

It was Sunday night and I didn’t have any options to getting a battery. All of the local auto places were closed. What should I do? They said they had one that might fit my car at the tow shop. It fit, so I bought it. Thankfully it worked.. After all was said and done I had about 3 to 4 hours of downtime. Now for the rest of the way I needed to drain my battery as much as possible as the alternator was charging it too much (and therefore boiling the battery). How did I do that? I ran the lights, I kept the AC on – anything that could be on… was. Even the rear defroster.

So I drove that night to a Wal-Mart where I picked up 3 quarts of oil to add into my car (some reason it was really low on oil when I checked it) and so after all of that I got back on the road and made my way to Salt Lake, where I checked into my hotel around midnight.

What a night. I was pretty much done, but I had a friend in Salt Lake who wanted to meet up while I was around. Being that I am not in the area much (haha) I went out to grab something eat. I hadn’t eaten anything the whole day – so it was something I had meant to do – just didn’t have the time to do with everything else going on.

I went to sleep around 4am. AH!! I was right back to those “late night” habits that I worked so hard to break. On the up side, I slept wonderfully…

The next day I was on my way to Vegas. A shorter trip that worked well considering I had to go a slower pace with my car acting the way it was. Plus, you can find cheap hotels in Vegas.

I got to Vegas and it was busy, as always right? I got to my hotel room and watched Intervention on A&E for a good 3 or 4 hours. I like that show..

Afterwards, it was getting late (9pm) so I decided to go grab something to eat. The hotel I was staying at was like a Maze and it was somewhat annoying getting around. I walked down the street to a line of restaurants.

Looking down I saw that I wasn’t alone.

Cockroaches. Just walking along the sidewalk with me. Wow – the only other time I experienced that was right over the California border in Mexico. I figured it was a rare thing.. I just brushed it off and went on my way.

Walking back- sure enough I wasn’t alone. There were people walking on both sides of the street and I wasn’t the only one to take note of the cockroaches. Some girls were running away after getting close to see if they were real- and others were just trying to dodge them altogether.

When I was almost back to my hotel I snapped a photo.

the Hotel.

I was up on the 22nd floor. I must say, this hotel was VERY disappointing. Las Vegas Hilton – don’t bother staying at it. The hotel attendants were rude and room was outdated and not up to par with a typical hotel.

It had a good view – and that is about all I could say for it. They didn’t even offer free internet… I came across a flyer for internet in the hotel, $13.99 for the night.

Anyway I made my way back to Phoenix the following day. I arrived without having any further problems.

My car now winks, at everybody. I’m not kidding. It has the flip up headlights and when they popped up and down those 10 or so times it shorted one of them. Now only the passenger side flips up and down like it should. The other side just stays up all the time.

I emailed LifeLock yesterday and told them that I would be back at work tomorrow. I texted JJ and he kind of assumed that I was going back to Arizona when my laptop, fan and covers off my bed were gone. He said he is still searching for work and will continue to do so in my absence.

That right, I only took the bare essentials.

Last night I had the pleasure of talking to Leah for a bit. It didn’t feel like very long, but I suppose it was a long conversation because I didn’t go to bed til almost 4:45am.

And that is it. Tomorrow I resume work…

What a trip it’s been so far.

just Pray

hey
So when I got done publishing my previous blog a few minutes later JJ replied to me that he wouldn’t mind going to the coast.

I told him I’d drive, he buys. Just like that we were on our way. He seemed fine the whole trip over.. we talked a little bit. It was pretty nice. We went to Tillamook and got something to eat (he told me he was very hungry). Afterwards we made our way down to Newport. It was foggy and overcast, quite a change from the 106 and sunny it was in Portland. JJ even said he was starting to get cold.. haha.

We went to the beach walked out towards the water. I asked JJ if he was going to take his shoes off, but he told me that he didn’t need to, his shoes were dirty anyway. With his shoes on- he went into the water for a few seconds before starting to text and walking back to the beach and sitting down.

I didn’t want to leave just yet- I mean we just got here. So I walked around a little bit and enjoyed the cool weather of the Oregon Coast. Finally after walking the coast for another 30 or 40 minutes I looked at him and he was now lying down while texting, so I guess that was it. We could go… it was kind of defeating because I had thought it was going to turn out for the better.

I walked back and he told me that his girlfriend was going to ask him to go to the coast, but I beat her to it. He kind of laughed that off and said that either way he would have been coming. He then told me that he was starting to feel sick. Yeah, I can get hints – but I wasn’t going back for the hottest part of the day. Plus the heat wouldn’t really help him feel any better in our UN-air conditioned apartment. I drove up the coast and he talked on the phone for a portion of the way, then texted some more. Why does that bother me? Should it not? Should I just not care? I don’t know.

I want more than just OK.

So what else? He felt good enough to get some ice cream but not good enough to do anything else. So we came back after driving all the way up to Seaside. It was still rather warm when we finally got back.

I didn’t do much on Thursday and Friday.. but JJ got progressively sicker- it didn’t stop him from going out with his girlfriend, but he didn’t sound that great either.

On Saturday I went out with Sky and we got some Sushi. I know, crazy right? Me? Sushi? I never would have thought. I tried it – and it really wasn’t bad at all. I’d have it again – with the right company. After Sushi we strolled down the streets of Portland, just talking until just after the sun had set- then we called it a night.

Sunday I texted JJ asking him if he was alright and he told me that he went to the hospital to get some meds, but that they didn’t help much- he had something that was causing sores in his mouth to appear. He didn’t have anything to eat- as he had just been drinking water and soda the past couple days, so I picked him up a milkshake and some packs of applesauce. Something with a little more substance than Coke.

Monday was kind of unproductive. I cleaned my room, washed my sheets and did some laundry. Tuesday I asked JJ if he wanted to go see the Harry Potter movie (he didn’t get a chance to go see it with his family when they were visiting) he said that he would like that. We went! The movie was good. On the way back I jokingly suggested he should go drive a school bus to make up to 17/hr. He told me “Yeah, no. I’m in No condition to work right now, I need to get myself better- but I’m in no shape to work”

Hit a nerve. Okay. Jack in the Box was offering two free tacos on Tuesday for everyone who came in. I took advantage of this offer (how can you not?!) and JJ told me he was going to try and eat the taco. He picked it up- drew out one strain of lettuce and put it in his mouth “Ouch! yeah I can’t eat it, this lettuce is TOO hard for me. I’m lucky I didn’t start shaking from all the pain I am in” (as he holds out his hand to show me he isn’t shaking). He continued to text and told me he was talking to his GF. I suggested to him that maybe she was talking to him all the time because she missed hanging out with him (as he had been sick). “We still hang out every day. It doesn’t matter, I see her everyday all the time” but it was the tone he said it, matter-of-fact. It sometimes makes me want to pull my hair out.

On the way back he finished his drink and began eating the ice. I guess it was softer than the lettuce?

He got back into the Apartment and two minutes later he was out the door. Less than a few hours later he returned with her. (I really can’t remember her name) He doesn’t talk much about her, he is pretty private about… almost everything. I live with the guy, you’d think I know more than I do. Haha

When she is over to the house, she typically spends the night. I didn’t really want to be around for that- but guess what? I had no choice in the matter. So I went to bed early. I sometimes feel like it’s a chore for him to carry on a conversation with me. He really likes to invest his time elsewhere.

That brings us current. This weekend I am going to visit my brother.. and due to the fact that I have no reason to stay in Portland any longer (and believe me I looked for a reason) … I’m leaving Sunday afternoon from my brothers. Then I will return to AZ and resume my job. At least I will be able to recoup the money I’ve spent in the last 3 months and save.

I’m not looking forward to it and for the past 48 hours I’ve felt like there is a pit in my stomach. Hmm… it isn’t all bad. But now that it will happen lets rip this band aid off quickly instead of a slow excruciatingly slow peel.

just Pray.

hey

another update, almost another week later.

My lips feel chapped… hmmm

Oh yes, updating. You know what’s funny? I typically have to read over my previous post to know what has happened since I last blogged. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that funny – but it was in my head.

Shoot… Well first off today is Joey’s birthday. Happy Birthday Joey!

In the past week I have been to the ocean, the waterfalls and had a migraine. See – I’ve been active.

On Sunday I decided to get out- go for a hike and be productive. I went to Multnomah falls and hiked up to the top and I didn’t stop there. I kept going on the pedestrian paths they had. I went farther than I had before. I think it was like 6 or 7 miles each way. That’s what I got from looking at the maps they had posted everywhere. Then to cool off I went to Wahkenna falls. I like that fall the best because you can get right up next to it and get drenched. It was good. I posted some video of my trips on Sunday on my YouTube. To see go to: youtube.com/jayshox

I didn’t think the day could get any better- I felt tired, but good. I started to drive back to Portland when I looked at this sign on the road but I couldn’t really see it. I closed on eye- nope, closed the other.. still no improvement. I could only make out the first word or two on it. I thought maybe I had a glare that got me and that was the cause of it all. I waited and it got progressively worse. Then my thoughts started to think that it could be a migraine. Ugh.. Migraine?! I haven’t had one in a few years.

I think it good luck of me to make it home with no near-miss events because it was getting so bad that I almost pulled over. I didn’t think that to be the best option though- as it would only continue to get worse. I went home- took a shower and laid down. I could feel the world spinning… I was probably quite the sight. Hands over my ears to block any sound…. breathing into my pillows and trying not to move or see any light.

Breathing into my pillows? Yeah, well it might be silly. But I’ve heard before that if you breathe into a closed quarter (like your hand, or a pillow) that it helps lessen one’s pain. They even had a kid do it once on the movie “What Dreams May Come”… either way. I was out for the count and all Monday I pretty much felt like I had a hangover. Bad headache when I would move and it was always better when everything was quiet.

All of this past weekend JJ’s grandmother and mom visited. He warned me about his grandmother – saying that she was mean to most people and that not a lot of people get along with her. Thanks for the warning.

On Saturday his grandmother approached me and asked me if I would like to come with them when they left. Wow- I liked that she was including me on the plans. I told her that I’d really like to go. I asked her where we were going- and she darted off to ask JJ and his mom. I heard them shout at her “you CAN’T invite someone to something where YOU don’t even know what we are doing. How can you DO that? I can’t Believe you!” She came back into the room and told me she didn’t know where they were going. I told her that I didn’t want to impose and it feels like I was.. so I’d pass. She said to me “Yeah, they way they were talking makes you feel like they don’t want you around doesn’t it?” I replied with “Yeah, it really does” she said to me “I feel that way a lot, like they are in their own world and don’t even need me around”

My sentiments exactly, but it was quite sad to her his grandmother saying this to me.

What else, she told me JJ had already been pulled over twice since being out here. He blames it on the police being stricter than they were in AZ. Haha I told her that I don’t have any problems with them, “but then again, I don’t drive drunk”

On Sunday morning I was up early (3am) and around 5 she was up and about. She said she wanted some coffee, so I asked her if she would like me to go get her some. She smiled and said yes, then called to Terri (JJ’s mom) and asked if she wanted any. “Can’t you have ANY patience?! What’s wrong with you?!” she replied to them “no, he asked me if I wanted anything” and they said back to her “You need to just SIT and wait. You don’t need to pester Everyone else with your problems!”

I didn’t like the way they were talking to her, but really.. what kind of say did I have in it? Oh yeah, none.

anyway, random thought– I still want to see the newest Harry Potter movie…

It’s been hot lately. The past few days have been over 100 degrees and yesterday was 106, they are saying today will be hotter. Ew ew ew. Here I am with no AC… blah!

Yesterday I went to Seaside with Maryia… I had a blast. It was fun.. and time really flew by… salt, fish and sand never smelt so good haha.

That brings us to today. I don’t know what the plans are. I asked JJ if he wanted to do something (we really haven’t talked in over a week), but he hasn’t answered me… I guess that’s it.

OH yes, Blazers news! We signed Andre Miller. I’m on the fence about it. I want to see how he will perform as a starting PG and how exactly Bayless and Blake will work in the mix.

just Pray

hey hey

As a side note for anyone reading this blog, the comments were disabled, so in the past if you clicked any link to try and leave a comment- well.. you couldn’t. I thought about it and decided to bring back that feature. Enjoy..

Updated on the job front are as follows: I went for my second interview with US Bank. I suppose everything went alright. They did mock calls and had me sit in a room and make like I was answering calls, while they pretended to be the customer a few rooms away. They told me I really had no coaching opportunities (in regards to my phone etiquette) and then he asked me more questions for the position – if I could work during these times, etc..

After he was done with his questions he asked if I had any questions. I asked him how long did I have to remain in this position before I could move elsewhere? (in a sense, asking how quickly I could move up in the company) His response was that I had to stay in my current (phone) position for 6 months. Then after those 6 months I could apply to also process loans. I told him that was good, but processing loans is on the phone too, right? So I asked him if after those six months I could apply for a job that was off the phone. He told me, “No” and continued that with – the loan position requires six months before you and go anywhere else in the company. Basically you have to stay on the phone for at least 1 year (at the min) before moving elsewhere. I asked him if – after that time it would be easy to find a job- processing claims, or doing whatever they had off the phone. He told me that US Bank doesn’t favor internal employees as opposed to external applicants. After that year time frame I would have to apply for the new position just as anyone else wanting that job.

I had to clarify with him, that didn’t make sense to me. Any job that I’ve had – has always tried to bring the talent up from within the company (if available) first before turning to outside sources. He reassured me that being an employee would not help any more than if I was applying from the outside. That was discouraging and also from my point of view- the deal breaker.

As much as I don’t like Arizona I will be returning. I just don’t want to advertise this to anybody. I don’t want to have to explain such things. It is bad enough that I have to do it – little loan have to explain to friends about the whole matter. It isn’t the act of explaining it to others that gets me. It is the initial reaction from people “oh, he’s moving again” or countless other things that I’ve heard. One comment that was made by Dayna (back when I was at Cascade) was “what the hell is wrong with you? can’t you make up your mind?” and that comment stung- coming from (at the time) one of my closest friends. Those words always stuck with me and because of it I would rather just keep the information to myself unless I need to tell someone.

So anyway, I was browsing the internet tonight and circuitcity.com is back up and running. There is a company that bought the website and former name- now they sell electronics but only online. Still nice to see that it they came back in some way shame or form.

I leave you with some lyrics..

“When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody’s help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured,
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won’t you please, please help me?”

just Pray