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So when I got done publishing my previous blog a few minutes later JJ replied to me that he wouldn’t mind going to the coast.

I told him I’d drive, he buys. Just like that we were on our way. He seemed fine the whole trip over.. we talked a little bit. It was pretty nice. We went to Tillamook and got something to eat (he told me he was very hungry). Afterwards we made our way down to Newport. It was foggy and overcast, quite a change from the 106 and sunny it was in Portland. JJ even said he was starting to get cold.. haha.

We went to the beach walked out towards the water. I asked JJ if he was going to take his shoes off, but he told me that he didn’t need to, his shoes were dirty anyway. With his shoes on- he went into the water for a few seconds before starting to text and walking back to the beach and sitting down.

I didn’t want to leave just yet- I mean we just got here. So I walked around a little bit and enjoyed the cool weather of the Oregon Coast. Finally after walking the coast for another 30 or 40 minutes I looked at him and he was now lying down while texting, so I guess that was it. We could go… it was kind of defeating because I had thought it was going to turn out for the better.

I walked back and he told me that his girlfriend was going to ask him to go to the coast, but I beat her to it. He kind of laughed that off and said that either way he would have been coming. He then told me that he was starting to feel sick. Yeah, I can get hints – but I wasn’t going back for the hottest part of the day. Plus the heat wouldn’t really help him feel any better in our UN-air conditioned apartment. I drove up the coast and he talked on the phone for a portion of the way, then texted some more. Why does that bother me? Should it not? Should I just not care? I don’t know.

I want more than just OK.

So what else? He felt good enough to get some ice cream but not good enough to do anything else. So we came back after driving all the way up to Seaside. It was still rather warm when we finally got back.

I didn’t do much on Thursday and Friday.. but JJ got progressively sicker- it didn’t stop him from going out with his girlfriend, but he didn’t sound that great either.

On Saturday I went out with Sky and we got some Sushi. I know, crazy right? Me? Sushi? I never would have thought. I tried it – and it really wasn’t bad at all. I’d have it again – with the right company. After Sushi we strolled down the streets of Portland, just talking until just after the sun had set- then we called it a night.

Sunday I texted JJ asking him if he was alright and he told me that he went to the hospital to get some meds, but that they didn’t help much- he had something that was causing sores in his mouth to appear. He didn’t have anything to eat- as he had just been drinking water and soda the past couple days, so I picked him up a milkshake and some packs of applesauce. Something with a little more substance than Coke.

Monday was kind of unproductive. I cleaned my room, washed my sheets and did some laundry. Tuesday I asked JJ if he wanted to go see the Harry Potter movie (he didn’t get a chance to go see it with his family when they were visiting) he said that he would like that. We went! The movie was good. On the way back I jokingly suggested he should go drive a school bus to make up to 17/hr. He told me “Yeah, no. I’m in No condition to work right now, I need to get myself better- but I’m in no shape to work”

Hit a nerve. Okay. Jack in the Box was offering two free tacos on Tuesday for everyone who came in. I took advantage of this offer (how can you not?!) and JJ told me he was going to try and eat the taco. He picked it up- drew out one strain of lettuce and put it in his mouth “Ouch! yeah I can’t eat it, this lettuce is TOO hard for me. I’m lucky I didn’t start shaking from all the pain I am in” (as he holds out his hand to show me he isn’t shaking). He continued to text and told me he was talking to his GF. I suggested to him that maybe she was talking to him all the time because she missed hanging out with him (as he had been sick). “We still hang out every day. It doesn’t matter, I see her everyday all the time” but it was the tone he said it, matter-of-fact. It sometimes makes me want to pull my hair out.

On the way back he finished his drink and began eating the ice. I guess it was softer than the lettuce?

He got back into the Apartment and two minutes later he was out the door. Less than a few hours later he returned with her. (I really can’t remember her name) He doesn’t talk much about her, he is pretty private about… almost everything. I live with the guy, you’d think I know more than I do. Haha

When she is over to the house, she typically spends the night. I didn’t really want to be around for that- but guess what? I had no choice in the matter. So I went to bed early. I sometimes feel like it’s a chore for him to carry on a conversation with me. He really likes to invest his time elsewhere.

That brings us current. This weekend I am going to visit my brother.. and due to the fact that I have no reason to stay in Portland any longer (and believe me I looked for a reason) … I’m leaving Sunday afternoon from my brothers. Then I will return to AZ and resume my job. At least I will be able to recoup the money I’ve spent in the last 3 months and save.

I’m not looking forward to it and for the past 48 hours I’ve felt like there is a pit in my stomach. Hmm… it isn’t all bad. But now that it will happen lets rip this band aid off quickly instead of a slow excruciatingly slow peel.

just Pray.