Another blog.

You know.. I went to fix an error on my last post and accidently clicked “Update Time and Stamp” while clicking submit.  So fooey.  This is my first real post for Friday… even though it may not be.  :oP

This is a pretty cool link.  click here.  It updates every 5 minutes automatically.  Double click to zoom in.

Another chance to learn about me blog

I am independent.  I don’t depend on anyone– even as much as my friends get close to me, I still don’t put the (thinks of the word for it) load?  I don’t put it on them – or anyone.  I can count on my family, that is a blessing.  Everyone from My parents to Michael and Heidi.  We’ve always been a closely knit group, especially with how small our family size is.

Having said that, I don’t feel that I need to ‘talk’ about what I blogged about.  At least not with people to whom it doesn’t even regard.

This is my “I know it already” attitude, but I also have heard everything everyone has said before.  About life, God, focus– I’ve done research on things, read books etc etc

Anyway.  Cascade had some thing with their system that they didn’t add to my account, so they said I owed them 1000 more.  They researched it, added some of the things I should have gotten anyway, and said that I needed to pay 500 instead.

Least everything is paid off… on the school level haha.  Goodness knows I still have my share of loans.

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(this is space after I remember the thing I wanted to blog about– but can’t remember at the moment — To Be Filled!)  Yes.. You will have to check back later if you want to read it.

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The last thing I want to post about in this blog is the term success.

I looked up the definition…

suc·cess

–noun

1.the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.

2.the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

3.a successful performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.

4.a person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show.

 

Why is this being blogged about?  I struggle with success in life.  Not really.. but then totally.  To be a success in others eyes seems to be something I still yearn for.  Something I still want, even if I tell myself and pray about being only successful for the Kingdom of God.

 

It doesn’t matter, I always get back into what society claims success as.  I know it isn’t some posh job, or some hefty pay.  I know it isn’t getting a college degree, or even getting married and having kids.  I guess I haven’t come to a real defining moment as to what I personally define success at.  I can tell you this, that if I had all of those things I just listed I would consider myself successful.

 

I want to be successful, yet at every turn my life seems to go down a different route.  Maybe not a good route, maybe not a bad route, just one that I don’t deem as successful.  Like, a feeling of just wasting away- trying to figure out success on a personal level.

 

“I’m headed for the breakdown” – Breaking Benjamin

 

Even when I was high on life, growing daily in my personal walk.  I would just work at Sears, witness to people I knew, to my friends.  I would see changes and be part of exciting changes in peoples lives, yet success was not at my fingertips.

 

I am not looking for an explanation of success.  These are just my thoughts.

 

“I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.” – James Thurber

 

just Pray.

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