Hey

So it has been a couple of days since I have made a private entry.

The whole weekend I have been calling Erika but have not been able to get a hold of her until today. So Wednesday Thursday and Friday I was on the phone every night for at least three hours… with who? Stacie.

I think it is crazy. The fact that I finally make up my mind about who I like and then all of the sudden the tables switch up on me. Erika doesn’t even seem like she is interested in me, while Stacie is showing a lot of interest, or at least it seems that way.

Even Stacie’s friend talked to me about how she hasn’t been as happy as when she is hanging out or talking with me.

Wowzers. Talk about a surprise.

And so then Erika, I occasionally bring her up to Stacie, and I was informed by her that Erika was meeting up with her old boyfriend this weekend in her old home town. Funny how Erika didn’t bother to tell me about that.. hmm.. makes me wonder if that is a hint… that maybe she just wants me as a friend. That’s fine.. I mean I would be disappointed in myself.. I suppose, but I would want to know so I wouldn’t have to feel like I don’t know what is going on.

She can hear me typing (I am on the phone right now with Erika)…

I am not sure what to do. On one hand I would love to take things further with Erika, but it really doesn’t seem like she wants to do that. Given everything during the weekend, she doesn’t call or whatever, or isn’t around or gets off the phone quick. This could all be chalked up to the fact that she has just been busy and that it is normal for someone who is busy to respond like that.

I am not sure however; time will tell. If she responds to me like she did Tuesday night in my car, then I suppose we can take things from there.. otherwise I will just take the hint and move on 😐

I hate hints. especially when they don’t work out for how one would like them to.

So what should I do? I have asked myself who I would like to be with more.. and time and time again I come to the conclusion of Erika. Why?

That’s what I am trying to figure out.

I am trying to be open to the idea of Stacie again (remember I did like her before, but when my feelings .. feel like they have been hurt.. or when I think I get a hint towards something – whether it is right or wrong, I tend to react off that) so we shall see what happens.. I guess.

Everything seems to be a big waiting game. Stacie might not even be back next semester.. that would suck. I wouldn’t like that at all…..

Well.. I need to go talk to Erika now.. I think she has sat through enough silence for the time being.

God Bless

Jason