hey

You know what’s a pretty awesome feeling?

Thinking someone likes you, but hearing someone else’s name. That is classic on the pathetic scale. Like.. last night I was outside fooling around with Erika, just messing around with her and junk. This was after we went to a movie- she told me she wanted me to go but didn’t want to go alone. I went, and yeah.. I enjoyed it. Why does she look at me, and smile and look away? Why does she hold things back, but then grab my hand? Things like that drive me crazy, straight up the wall…. So why do I do the same, no wait.. the question isn’t me here, because I openly like her. I told her I would tell her who I liked if she would tell me who she liked. She thought I liked someone else, but found out that it was her. Yeah, that should have been a hint, but I didn’t take it.

After a few minutes of her being very shy I spit out a few different options and we started to narrow down the search. The worst part of it was when she agreed to Elijah’s name. Why is that bad? Because then my hope was shot. I instead was on the ground getting shot by myself.. haha ironic isn’t it? I could do nothing more but look at her, smiling at me and smile back. As hard as it was to do – just to by my expressions let her know that I was okay, and not disappointed or hurt or anything (I don’t think she ever even thought of that but I did). I’m just a stupid guy who makes assumptions where they are not needed.

I figured I’d be fine, but my eyes are always darting over to her now when he enters the room.

Last night I talked to Stacie on the phone for like 4 hours. Right after I get done saying how I really only see her as a friend, now all the sudden she wants to talk to me.. perfect timing — not.

Oh well. That’s all for tonight.