hey

So I semi updated my site at www.jshox.com and also my xanga.

Semi – not really, just changed a few images.. it is my attempt to function. I have been pretty.. out of it the last two days.

A new day, a new way of looking at things? When my parents left (they left on Saturday) I felt.. well… alone. I am pretty close with my parents – more so than others.. and yes, I would say I have a pretty good relationship with them. So of course I was a little blue…. that’s the way it is supposed to be. It has been a total of 21 years of living with them and zero of not. And the time is past due for many people to move out, and I think its my time now. It is good, changes are good..

Today wasn’t that great of a day.. I didn’t really have much to do around the dorms (yes I am all moved in.. I did so on Saturday). Tomorrow starts the whole orientation process. Seems like it will be a pretty busy day.. and same with Tuesday and so on. I like it that way.. I really do. Especially when the few people I know are a few people to whom I have forgotten their names, minus my roommate- Allen, who I met once, and really haven’t seen him since. haha I found out he is from San Francisco, City College. I found that to be very interesting.

Other than that.. I am upperclassmen. Woohoo.. go me. So little did I know.. I get to share a bathroom with 6 people instead of like 15-20. I think that’s better haha. It is semi-like an apartment (3 rooms, 2 beds per room)… minus the kitchen.

Happy Birthday to Kays dad! Yes.. I knew. hahahaha 😉 I gotta figure out the rest of the family tho… crazy stuff.

‘I’m alive because your alive!’ So true.. Delirious? sang that. This mountain is high, too high for us, but not for you. I love the Mountains High song. You can listen to it here. I think its been on my music page before.. but it is such a good song.

Today, .. oh what about today? I was lonely for the better part of the day and I hate eating by myself.. and I kept getting lost last night, (I know a better part of the SW Portland area not the NE area) and kept missing everything by a few minutes. (like Target closed at 10:00 and I arrived at 10:01… yes that bugged me) So … things were not looking up. I closed my dorm room on Saturday afternoon thinkin ‘oh my Goodness.. what have I done’ – and this feeling would not let go.

Then today at church.. well the whole experience went alright, but it seems like they needed a new pastor, because it was quite.. well… boring. And I hate saying that church was boring, but it was. I guess.. I’m just not use to the way he was talking, I am not saying he was bad, maybe I just got the bad end of something. And the Worship music? Well.. it was … like…. different. We finally got a good music guy in Central and everyone was into it – it created a good atmosphere, and this church was like… soft rock from the 80’s while people stood up to sing on the last line of a song hahaha… I found that amusing. I must say, some of the songs were good and I’ve never heard of them before.. so that was encouraging. The people were friendly, (you would expect that in a church, but sometimes you are in for a surprise) and the senior pastor started talking to me before the service.. and I didn’t know who he was until he got up to give the message. haha I might go back, crazy as that sounds, just not next week- going to try another first.

But I did notice how everyone was… happy. I don’t know, but sitting back and looking at everyone – you sometimes notice things you would otherwise miss. Everyone was happy.. and it was a nice feeling. You could feel it in the air, and kids were not missed in this church – lots of em’ running around and playing games – and that is the way it should be.

Moving on.. did I mention I don’t like eating alone? I don’t know why.. I just hate doing it. I didn’t eat alll day today, so my parents called me and told me I should eat something before the end of the day. So.. I got in my car and left, after I got done eating (McDonalds people.. it has a long history in my family hahaha INFACT that’s how I started liking basketball – but that’s another story) I felt better and that feeling left me. I knew I needed to change my attitude, and I don’t think I did…

I think it was Him.. within me, doing the tweaking to my soul. Yes.. yes! Let me enjoy and just relish this time I have. So much free time to spend with my Creator. Lots of reading to catch up on, and even to start reading the Word a little more on a regular basis. Lets keep things going good for me. So no- things were not so well, but now I think things will turn out for the better. Not to say that everything will be smooth sailing, but at least my outlook will be positive. The jury is still out on the school – that story will be told within the next few weeks.

I wanted to write all of this out and I’m glad I did.. just incase my feelings change within the next few weeks I can look back on this. I feel so….. out of it right now, but updating my site, talking to a few friends, and going to play basketball helped me.

Things are good :o)

I’m done updating for now… I shall do so again, maybe in a few days if I don’t get swept off to the coast too soon. (We are spending 3 days, 2 nights camping out on the coast) So yes it should be good. If this post is too long for anyone – let me know so I can unsubscribe you.

Take care, God Bless

Pray Hard.

Ciao!