Hey.
I have to work tomorrow, and its almost 10, and I’m still up.
Today, was good I suppose. I woke up late, watched part of a movie with my brother then went to return headphones at Target. (cash = 18) Got 18 bucks back, we went into Sports Authority, and Bed Bath and Beyond. Then we went back to my house. Then we decided to go bowling. Paid for that (cash = 0) and I prefer it that way. I don’t like carrying around cash. So.. I bowled poorly the first game, only notching like 95, then the next game I got a little better at 125. Still nothing to brag about. Lisa (first time bowling) got like 83 the first and 98 the second. My brother got 111 the first, and 97 the second. We then came home, and watched TV, I replied to emails, then we ate and waited for the Blazers game to come on. Now I’m here.. game isn’t over yet, but this is probably my only chance to update before tomorrow night… if I have a chance then.
So my first day back after a week, wasn’t that bad. I think it really helped that I was asking for help through prayer.
What else has been happening? I don’t know.. my memory has been keeping a 1 or 2 day track, anything before that.. I’m losing it haha
To put it to rest : I have already talked with various people in the responses that I have given to Becky. This may make no difference to you, but this is how it all got started. I have friends.. who read my xanga (one or two whom go to Central or 242), ‘for the world to see including my friends’… if a journal isn’t personal, and if it doesn’t hold true feeling and emotion – if you sugar coat a journal, it really isn’t a journal. People who read my site know that I wont edit how I feel. A journal should help you on your journey with your walk. I explained my feelings for her as openly and honestly as I could – keep in mind she didn’t Want to talk to me. She didn’t want to have any type of ‘talk’ with me.. When Becky read what I put.. she took it the wrong way and thought that I was… comparing her to (what she thought was) …my next to nothing ex that never meant much to me. She meant a lot to me, but we had a deeper relationship than me and Becky. So Becky got hurt, but that was never the intent.. So that’s why I replied to her and told her .. in detail why I made the comparison, not to… insult or anything. It was said because everyone who was already is knowing of the situation needs to know how things stand. Not how she thinks things were. If you’re going to hear her voice.. then they’re going to hear mine. Furthermore.. I’ve been looking for a way to email her.. text her or something.. and say something along the lines of… I’m sorry that you had to read that.. (in the first place it was never written with her intention to read it..) its not like I was trying to go out of my way to make her feel bad, believe me I could have if that were my intent. I put things in a clear understanding for people who know me.. and understand me. And why would I do that in the first place? Because most of the people who read my journal read her journal. She wasn’t saying the best of things about me in her journal.. and she made it seem like we were really deep, and … we were not, we weren’t really ever that deep. I gave her honesty. There was no way of sugar coating what I had to say, she .. I’m not going to sit here and tell you about how she is. An apology? I would only apologize that she took the words the wrong way, if she knew the way the words were said I don’t believe it would have effected her as much. I know if she read what I put it would effect her, but to a point of realization about how things were/are. You may think that I could have said something better.. Maybe I could have.. but even looking back now… I still have no problem with what I said.
That was mostly in part to a reply to someone that had something to say of my posting publicly. If you dont like what I say.. don’t like what you’re reading.. then I have a solution.
Don’t read it.
Take care, God Bless.
Ciao