Year: 2004

Hey

Today was busy. In Q, all day until 7. Then it quieted down.

Then.. uh… I had some person who works for Citi bank complament me on how nice I was… she was really impressed. heh

Uhm… other than that… I got nothin.

but Ms Emily FAM does

“Okay.. Ill try not to make this long because I know you don’t want any long explination or anything.

First off – I’m terribly sorry from everything within my heart. Please.. read this before you decide to delete it and at least hear my story out..

The only reason I was logged into your Xanga was because of the thing from last night. I wasn’t in the greatest of moods last night.. at all. heh – I even busted out crying last night for no reason. Anyways – when I posted on your xanga.. and 2 seconds later.. right after i posted.. my comment disappeared. i was going to ask you abouti t.. but didn’t want to bother you.. so that’s why I said it was nothing.. at all.. and you weren’t too happy either.. so I didn’t want to ask you anymore.. so.. I tried commenting again.. and nothing was wrong with that.. so I was like okay..

I was still reall curious and not in a good mood about what happened to the other comment.. so I decided – well.. lets find out whats up.. so I logged onto your xanga – and tried to see what happened.. if anything.. and nothing happened. or at least I didn’t see anything. Well I left it at that – but what I didn’t do was log out becuse I just closed everything out and didn’t open it again.

I looked onto xanga this morning to see if anything was up.. so I saw your post.. and then I went to Brandy’s page and wanted to post for her.. and say I’d pray for her and what not – well after I posted.. was then taht I realized.. I was still logged onto your xanga. Boy was I flipping out. I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I logged out right away.. and I did not know what to do.

I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to do it.. I didn’t want to log into your account like that.. but i was mad and not in a good mood and wanted to know what happened. I’m sorry. please.. i know you won’t trust me and what can I say – I can’t trust myself either. I just hope you’ll.. forgive me.. sometime.. or whenever you feel is right. I know I dont deserve to be trusted.. I dont know what got into me.. ahh.. I’m sorry.

I guess Ill leave it at that.. and itll be up to you now. There isn’t anything I can do.. or say.. or whatever else.. because this is it. I’ve never done anything like this before.. ever.

Sorry – I know that doesn’t cut it.. but.. I don’t know what else to say besides it. Ah well.. that’s it.. Goodnight. And Take Care..

~Emily”

heh – Get a grip woman.

On that note… Goodnight.

God Bless

Ciao

God,

Please Bless Brandy, guide her and help her along the way. She needs you now, more than anything else.

Jason

Hey hey

I wanna listen to rock music and just scream. woooo! TOBYMAC BABY!

For all you goombas today who didn’t know – today is my birthday. Yesterday we ate at Black Angus so we wouldn’t have to make my dad wait (today) and be all tired and extreemly hungy. (my choice) but anyway.. How about today? how good was today?

I had TONS of stupid people, like I did yesterday. Wait.. hold up.. lets start over.

I woke up.. not bad… watched something on tv til I left.

Came to work – all parking spaces taken.. I had to park a few parking lots away from work. I walk inside, and someone is sitting in my desk. No biggie. I take the desk next to mine.. and sit down. Calls in Q, all day. Not only that (refering back to beginning) I had TONS and TONS of stupid people, like I did yesterday. Infact I had a supervisior call or two today to top it all off. Nobody at work rememberd my brithday.. and thats fine. I didn’t expect them to – but the person who does the Birthday cards forgot about it – and remebered 15 minutes before my shift ended. Then whispers *happy birthday and rubs my back* oh my.

So I got home.. GOOD times, At least work was over.

Blazers up… by 10… No.. now 20!! Yay! A Blowout! Today is a good day afterall!!

I open my present my parents got my for my Birthday and it has previously been opened. So during halftime I got them to go to Target and exhange it for a digital camera that hasn’t been used. We go to the place near my house.. to EXCHANGE it. Get a new (unopened one) and the woman tells us that there will be charge of 15 dollars restocking fee.. even tho the electrions guy told her to defect it out. So after explaining to the woman like 5 or more times… saying we Got it opened… she asked her TLOD (team leader on duty) and yeah… he was like.. “oh no there shouldn’t be a charge” shes like “but they opened it” and then we had to yell somemore.. becuase the stupid woman doesnt listen. REGUARDLESS even if she didn’t hear.. I worked at Target guest service for 1/2 the time I worked at Target.. becoming a supervisior at guest service. We don’t charge that unless the person is trying to rip you off. HOW were we ripping them off? Did we look poor? What was it?

So we get back home with the camera.. and the Blazers are up by 23 in the 3rd quarter. 4th quarter starts – up by 18…. then with 50 seconds left.. the Sonics are up by two. Last shot.. Damon Stoudamire sends the game into Overtime.

Overtime – Blazers lose it.. Lost by 11? I don’t know.. I don’t care.. I got fusturated. The day? A waste. heh… I’m glad my own brother called my parents today to tell them about a SUNS TRADE and didn’t MENTION MY NAME.

Guess what?

YOU HAVE TO MEAN SOMETHING FOR THE PERSON TO REMEMBER. GUESS WHAT? HE DOESNT CARE.

Thats all. I’m not in a great mood. So if I bark at you tonight.. I’m sorry. 🙂

Goodnight – God Bless

Ciao

Endless Presence

I sing in my room and dance to the music
I dance with tears in my eyes
Raising my hands, and lifting my voice
I do all I can to praise you…
For its not the singer, its the song that we sing.
I’m lost in the moment I dance with you.
For one brief moment, I get chills down my spine that tingle the depths of my soul
And in that moment I realize what I’m living for
I’m living off the memory of the love that died for me
For my bones like my soul – are empty without you inside.
I continue my walk of faith…
I can see myself, standing in the wind
With your presence lingering like a guardian angel.
I know your with me, yet I know I’m alone
I walk the streets of darkness, and fall into a depression
Being selfishly abused, I bathe in the self pity of my self destruction.
I can do nothing but pray.
All through the night, I create books of untold prayers
Delivered to the doorstep of your ears
And when the night is building the morning, I raise my hands in praise
I let him calm the waters, cool the nights, and keep building the faith.
Let everything that has breath, praise him.
I will praise you with every breath I take
And though I may fail and I know I struggle
I will continue to try to be like you
With your help, I might find the way.
The beauty of your heart, is more than my eyes can bare
Praise the Lord God Almighty
Thank you Father for everything you’ve given me.
When I look at you, I feel complete…
I feel whole, and finally at peace.
I love you Lord.
Let me praise you until I take my last breath.

Poem by J.A.D. © 2004

Hey

Today wasn’t bad.. I’m not sure why. It should be a bad day by all standards. I went to work – I was in Q the whole day cept for the last 10 minutes (6:50) then I got 2 calls in 10 minutes. I was pretty busy.. to say the least.

Random Comment : People get me…. interested, so I search to view all standpoints of a subject. Sometimes changing my standpoint on things, moreover – making me know what I knew before – stronger.

We ate Black Angus tonight, maybe I’ll get the Mad Cow disease. In reality did you know its actually really hard for humans to get it? If they do – you are pretty much dead..(no cure) but overall… the parts that have Mad cow disease.. or the parts that carry the disease are cut off before they are cut up and shipped out. (I read up on it) Yummy Steak. Steak… plus A1 Sauce. mm mm Good!

Other than that.. I didn’t do much today. heh… its 9:30 but I think I’m gunna go to bed early, maybe watch some tv, but just try to take it easy. Unwind, and yeah. Sounds good – probably wont happen, but you never know.

God Bless everyone

Ciao