Beauty – Page 3 – my journey

Wonderstruck by stars and trees and other things

In Beauty, Liberation, Prayer, process, relaizations, Stars by admin / October 4, 2012 / No comments

There truly are no words to explain the way I felt when I saw my first one. It was late and dark but that didn’t seem to matter. I was wonderstruck and filled with awe. But there it was, standing tall and proud and graceful all at once. I stared with unbelieving eyes. It was breathtaking and beautiful. The green moss crawled around its thick base curling to the top like garland on a christmas tree. As we drove by more and more of them I just wanted to stop and stare. They were so grand and I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. I didn’t want to leave. But we had to.

The wind whispered to my tired eyes that they would see them once again. I breathed in a sigh of relief. As morning slowly crept into our lives we were on the road again. We saw the bright colors of the sunrise create a backdrop behind the majestic green giants. In daylight they were just as extravagant.

The redwoods were magnificent. They reached taller than the tallest trees in all of my memories. The trunk was wider than any trunk I had ever laid eyes upon. And when I hugged one it made me feel as tiny as the stars do. Tiny but significant. Noticed and encouraged by the Creator. I find myself filled with peace and hope and contentment. Very few things make me feel this way.

It is one of the most amazing feelings that one could possibly ever feel. Perhaps the forest makes me feel even more alive than the ocean.

Tomorrow aka Today

In Beauty, Wedding by admin / August 17, 2012 / No comments

Tomorrow, well it’s midnight so today, I am getting married. I have a bazillion things going through my mind and I almost feel like I am on auto-pilot. This has been such an odd process. Planning a wedding on a super tight budget is difficult. Planning a wedding while living away from friends and family is even more difficult.

We’ve had some serious financial curve balls. We thought maybe by now we would be a little more financially secure. It’s been rough out there. I’ve felt a little lost at times. I’ve always been known as a workaholic but without work… What does that make me?!.

human.

Well sometimes I forget that I am not superwoman. I can’t do it all. I need to remember that tomorrow. It’s out of my control. It will be beautiful.

Breathe.

(raw) (prayer)

In Beauty, Prayer, process, relaizations by admin / April 24, 2012 / No comments

I think the power of prayer is amazing. There is something about it that is so pure… sometimes you pray with raw emotion, you scream at God out of frustration. Sometimes you pray with raw desperation, you cry to God in hopes only to find a glimpse of peace. Sometimes you pray with raw joy, you scream with excitement at all the wonderful things that are happening to you. Sometime you pray with raw thoughts, perhaps just babbling on about your trip to the grocery store. But What I like about prayer is that it is RAW.

But what does that mean?

RAW PRAYER:

1. not having undergone processes of preparing, dressing,finishing, refining, or manufacture

1. A reverent petition made to God, a god, or another object of worship

2. unnaturally or painfully exposed, as flesh, by removal of the skin or natural integument

2. An act of communion with God, a god, or another object of worship, such as in devotion, confession, praise, or thanksgiving

3. painfully open, as a sore or wound

3. A fervent request

4. uncooked

4. The slightest chance or hope

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Life is kind of funny if you ask me. It throws you curve balls, turns you into tumbleweeds, and it can really get your down. Life is hard, there’s no question about it. But the idea of taking something that isn’t previously prepared and leaves you so open while talking to the creator of the universe is such a beautiful thing. Prayer leaves us exposed and open but it also gives us hope and peace. Sometimes prayer can frustrate us and we may not see the outcome right away… but I know that our Creator, our Divine Artist , God listens. To me that is a miracle. It’s beautiful, it’s pure, and it’s almost unexplainable. What is more impressive is when you have one person pouring out raw prayer for another. They leave themselves vulnerable as they share such a sacred connection with another person and the creator at the same time. Prayer is easy and it isn’t at the same time, especially uncooked prayer. If it hasn’t been previously prepared then often individuals may find it difficult to find words and even when a prayer is prepared in advance it hardly ever stays on task… we stumble over our words, trail off onto new paths, or we may even forget the previously prepared words. Why… because the raw prayer that comes from our hearts and souls often has a mind of it’s own. Sometimes it doesn’t stay on task… sometimes it wanders off to discuss new topics, the things that may be the root of our worries or failures or misunderstandings. Prayer is the possibility of opening up everything inside of ourselves, showing our scars, and still being unconditionally loved.