1 hour until 23 has disintegrated : Random thoughts

Where have they gone? What have I done? 23 years just slid right by. It brings me a little comfort that so few people read this blog because it means that I can babble and complain and not worry about what others will interpret. Instead I can just write. Everything can just be as it is… no worries. And even if they do judge it doesn’t matter because this is my account for my life. For tomorrow I have great anxiety. I have no expectations. Though I would be content spending the day in bed. Doing anything but thinking. Birthdays are not exciting days of the year for me. For me they are a day that marks a transition… they are a day where I start fresh. I throw out the old and I strive for the new. And yet every year they make me a little sad. I can’t help but wonder why we celebrate such a day. I think I’d be just as content without one… but we have them so I guess I just have to deal with it. I wish I was courageous, that I held a hand full of aces, that the desires of my heart were fulfilled, and that I cared just a little less. 🙂 And yet I have so much. WHY AM I COMPLAINING????!!!!