how anxiety can take ones confidence and make it dissipate. It’s weird
how I can do the forms at home… and then as soon as ChoGyoNim is
there I completely freeze. It’s lame. Super lame for lack of better
wording. But I know my stuff. So I should be fine. Today is a new day! My
anxiety will NOT get the best of me. I have studied. I have prepared.
Now I need to conquer! My confidence will not dissipate! Ok I’m not going to lie about this… I really really struggle with anxiety when it comes to social performance. I’ve been working on it for years… and there has been some progress but it is still avidly there. Before tests or anything where I am in front of a group of people I get anxious. I get the gut wrenching, cant breath kind of anxious. I feel paralyzed. I want to fight it. I try to fight it. In most cases I succeed to some small extent. The anxiety is still there but I do not let it paralyze me. I cannot explain how horrible I feel. I’m still working on non-medicated ways to resolve the issue. I keep trying to tell myself that in time it will pass. But it’s been 23 years so instead of being insane (trying the same things over and over again and expecting a different result) I am venturing out and exploring new options. In other words because I know I cannot cure myself of this disorder I am researching new coping mechanisms. WHOA! I’ve got a lot of work cut out for myself! For the past few years I have required myself to do things that I am afraid of simply so I do not let anxiety control my life.
Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, involves intense fear
of certain social situations — especially situations that are unfamiliar or in
which you’ll be watched or evaluated by others. These social situations may be
so frightening that you get anxious just thinking about them or go to great lengths
to avoid them.
Underlying social anxiety disorder is the fear of being scrutinized, judged, or embarrassed
in public.
A marked and persistent
fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is
exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others. The individual
fears that he or she will act in a way (or show anxiety symptoms) that will be
humiliating or embarrassing
Exposure to the feared
social situation almost invariably provokes anxiety, which may take the form of
a situationally bound or situationally predisposed panic attack
And even though you probably realize that your
fears of being judged are at least somewhat irrational and overblown, you still can’t
help feeling anxious.
Although it may feel like you’re the only one with this problem, social anxiety
disorder is actually quite common. Many people struggle with these fears. But the situations
that trigger the symptoms of social phobia can be different.
Psychological symptoms of social anxiety disorder (social phobia)
- Intense worry for days, weeks, or even months before an upcoming social situation.
- Extreme fear of being watched or judged by others, especially people you don’t
know. - Excessive self-consciousness and anxiety in everyday social situations.
- Fear that you’ll act in ways that that will embarrass or humiliate yourself.
- Fear that others will notice that you’re nervous.
- Avoidance of social situations.
Physical symptoms of social anxiety disorder (social phobia)
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The person recognizes
that the fear is excessive or unreasonable.
The feared social or
performance situations are avoided or else are endured with intense anxiety or
distress.
The avoidance, anxious
anticipation, or distress in the feared social or performance situation(s)
interferes significantly with the person’s normal routine, occupational
(academic) functioning or social activities or relationships, or there is
marked distress about having the phobia.
The fear or avoidance is
not due to the direct physiologic effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of
abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition and is not better accounted
for by another mental disorder (e.g., panic disorder with or without
agoraphobia, separation anxiety disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, a pervasive
developmental disorder or schizoid personality disorder).
It should be noted that not everyone who suffers from social phobia
appears shy, withdrawn or overtly nervous.
In some situations, the patient may not appear
anxious, thus obscuring the underlying fear, avoidance, distress and
disability.