Lodestar… twinkle twinkle little star

Life is beautiful. Even when it frustrates and annoys me it is beautiful. I am not always positive. I am not always happy. But I try to keep my outlook good enough that I can enjoy life. I don’t always enjoy life. I keep trying. Jane Austin once wrote “If one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere.”. You know what that means? Keep trying… the more you try the closer you get.  I’m still working on it. I know I’ll get there. I recently was behaving in a way not fit for the life I was living. I was dull. I was trying to be… something else. And then one morning I woke up… painted my toes black and realized that I was back. I was miserable being someone else. It was that day that I realized I had done something that I said I would never do… be something that I’m not for someone else. For the rest of my life I will try to never accomplish being someone else. Why was I hiding? Why would I dare misuse who I am? To impress? To gain affection? To hide? Nonesense! No more of that. If I can’t be a moon I shall be a star… it may be smaller but it shines and guides. The moon is bright and flashy but it is the lodestar that guides and inspires. I’d rather be that person.  I’d rather be me.