RANDOM THOUGHTS… With no order!
I can’t believe that it is already mid July. Like I’ve said many times … life is flying by. It’s been interesting cutting back some of my hours in TaeKwonDo. I can’t say that I really like it to be honest. I wish that my legs would just heal and get over what ever is wrong with them! I am tired of the way they feel all of the time. I just want to jump back in and start training hard. I hate having to take it easy. Let’s just say that I am using a lot of self control. I begun trying to fill my time with things to distract me.
I’ve been applying for jobs… some that I know I will strongly dislike. And I’ve been considering going back to school. But I hated college. I hated never ever sleeping and working three jobs and completely wearing myself out. So I’m not sure how I feel about that either. I think a happy medium would be doing an online Masters program. Something general until I could work on my PHD. With a PHD I can do research and write books and that my friend sounds divine. I would love to do a few of my own studies on cross cultural behaviors and social interactions.
As you can tell I plan on never being wealthy. I mean I would take it if someone gave it to me… but I never plan on doing anything for the purpose of making myself wealthy. Sometimes I like to think about what I would do with that kind of cash if I had it. I wouldn’t buy a gigantic house or fast Ferrari. This is the part where I get on my soapbox and talk about the Orphanages in Bulgaria, Water Crisis in Ethiopia, Human Trafficking in Eastern Europe, Aids Crisis, Poverty, Starvation, Underprivileged Children, Natural Disasters… the list goes on and on. If I could save the world with money then I would… but I can’t. I’m not even sure that I would be responsible enough if I had the money. Or maybe I would be too responsible… researching and doing background exams on each organization just trying to make sure they weren’t a scam. Luckily I don’t have that kind of money… ha any money, so I don’t have to worry about how I would react to large quantities of it!
I’ve been “not-so-well-off” my entire life. Some have had it better and some have had it worse. Some people look at my life and see an uphill battle, a challenge… all I see is a life, my life. It is my job to live it to the best of my ability. Sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s a breeze. Either way it is so beautiful. No matter what a person has been through they get to decide what they want to do with it. I really don’t know what the point of me writing today is… like I said it’s just a bunch of random thoughts that are flowing through my cerebral atmosphere.
It’s mornings like these that I should be practicing my flute. I’m currently working on this new song and every time I play it I have to pick up a different flute because it’s just not quite what I’m looking for. I have this thought in my head of what it should sound like… and it craves a deeper tone. I don’t want to reveal too much about this new song that I am writing but it is inspired by a cause that has really caught my attention in recent times (thanks Jessi… I can’t wait to play it for you upon its completion). When I complete the song I will make sure to share all of the details with you.
Not too much else is going on. My student loans were officially deferred today. My job search isn’t going quite as well as planned and the graduate school search is at a stand still for at least a couple more days. I also need to update my resume. Previously I had been doing a lot of freelance stuff but that seems to have come to a sudden stop. I’m grateful that my only debt is student loans but I’m going to be honest with you… it’s scary not having a steady income. I’m so used to being independent and self sufficient. Getting a job at Taco Bell sounds wonderful. Just about anything sounds good right now. The strange thing is it’s not even really the money (lack there of) that bothers me… it’s the not being able to control my surroundings. I like having order. I like consistency. And I know that I am learning a great many lessons from all of this. Knowledge and Wisdom in my book are priceless… even if the road to them sometimes seems a little rocky. I’ll take it over falling into stagnation. I crave a mind that is continually growing and seeking. When I fall into stagnation I begin to become restless… I can’t sleep… all I do is think or read or study or do something productive.
