Well it’s 6 days until my birthday and thanksgiving. I’m trying to prepare myself in the best way possible. One step closer to being 30. Weird. I can hardly believe how fast time is flying by. 27. I’m going to be 27. Ew. There’s nothing special or exciting about being 27. Excuse me if today is a little like a pity party. I just want time to slow down. I feel like I turned 21 yesterday… it’s odd that it was actually six years ago. I feel like there is so much that I am supposed to have done by this point in my life. I’m told this is normal. Normal is boring. I’ve become boring. Bored. I’m bored. And a little homesick for my people. I want to see my new little niece and I want to see all of the other kids. I miss my dad. I want to see my uncle again before his condition worsens. I oddly enough miss the rain a little bit. The news said that it might rain today or tomorrow but lately when they say that it hasn’t been very accurate. Gotta love the San Fernando Valley. It’s very deceiving. But it’s first impressions were very fitting. I remember my thoughts when we were driving into Santa Clarita. But I wont go there today.
Jay started work this week. Which also means that I haven’t left the house in 5 days. Doesn’t seem like much I know. But the limited human contact I find myself slowly withdrawing. I have nothing to talk about. I call people to talk to them and then when they ask me what’s going on in my life I have nothing to say. Literally nothing to talk about. Call it boredom or going stir crazy or cabin fever. I have nothing to talk about. I’ve decided to start writing again. Today is my first day back in a couple of years. I mean I’ve written little things like poetry but nothing very meaningful. It’s hard to find time to write even though I have all of the time in the world. No one seems to see the value in it these days. But I think it’s good for me to do it anyway. Maybe if I start writing again then I will have something to talk about. Just have to get those creative juices flowing through my cerebral cortex. Ah just thinking about the cerebral cortex makes me miss school. I crave an intellectual challenge. I miss connecting the dots. I miss writing papers and getting feedback. I was in school for so long that now it feels weird to not be in school. I liked school. I liked learning. I’m not disciplined enough to teach myself. Hmmm. More random ramblings.
Anyway time is flying by. I’m not sure really why it has to speed by so quickly. But another year is almost at a close. Birthday’s aren’t my favorite time of the year. But who knows maybe this year will be different.
