The world and the people in it

I continue to ponder daily. I think about life, what it is, where it is going, how it can be improved, and what I should do with my own. Life my friend is not what I had imagined years and years ago. I graduated high school six years ago, college two years ago and will probably start post grad school in a year and a half. I turn 25 in a few months. 25 may hit me harder than most. All that I have to say for myself is a bunch of education. Education is all that I can hold onto. I have so much knowledge dwelling within my two-fist sized cerebrum. What shall I do with this knowledge? As 25 quickly enters stage left I begin to wonder what my cues are. No blocking was mapped out ahead of time. I’ve done everything that I set out to do. Now I am on a vastly open stage. I look to the left and see space and I look to the right and see space. I can go anywhere. I can do anything. And yet I am on the stage alone. There are no other characters. Along the way I have created a cast of one, myself.

In the past 24, almost 25 years I have explored the human condition, how we interact, how we develop emotion, how we display emotion, and how we cope with the good, the bad, and the ugly. I can’t say that I know how the entire world works but I can tell you that I understand people. I love people. I think I will always love people to an extent. But the truth is they frighten me a great deal (not in the way you are thinking… no I do not have agoraphobia). People do not understand the power they have over others. We can make someone extremely sad or extremely happy in a millisecond. Many of us haven’t developed an understanding of the tools we have because we continue to look at what we want, what we need, and what makes us happy. However, many will realize that true happiness does not come from looking at how we can make ourselves happy. Instead we realize the times we are the most happy are the times in which we are giving, loving, donating, sharing, and caring for other people without asking for something in return. If you want to be happy try being selfless. It’s an odd happiness… like nothing else in the world but I guarantee that it works. At age 25 it is something that my heart understands but my overly logical mind is still trying to grasp. I know that love, the charity the 1 Corinthians 13 discusses is what makes the world have a drop of good in it.

We do not realize how fragile people are until we get hurt. We then begin to build up walls, which actually in turn often hurts others. I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve been through more than I thought I was capable surviving and yet I refuse to close my heart off to the world. Sometimes I will lose. Sometimes I will fall down and scrape my knee or get a broken heart… and I understand these things will hurt. Some of the things I will go through I may think I will never survive. Yet, I will not give up on humans. I will lose in once sense but I will gain in another. Perhaps I am just being naive and if that is the case I am sure I will learn it sooner or later. Nonetheless, and until that time, I will continue to do my best in a messy world. Probably more times than not I will lose. I have learned though that I gain more experiences from my losses than my wins. Life is a scary/beautiful adventure. Sometimes it is so joyful and sometimes it is painful. But these emotions are what make us human. A friend once told me that “Don’t forget everyone loses sooner or later, but it’s what you do after you lose that can make the difference.”

So yes… I still want to change the world 🙂