I don’t really feel like laughing today…

I feel kind of sad and unmotivated today. The day started off well and I had high hopes but now that dusk has passed and the cold wind blows I find myself just a tad down. I went to class today but my side hurts pretty bad and I didn’t feel challenged so I didn’t really have a good time. I just felt kind of sad. Shouldn’t I enjoy this more? I don’t know what are your thoughts?

Right now I am supposed to be writing a case study on a three year old child but I’m just not motivated. I miss my best friend today. I haven’t really missed her in a while but I today I really miss her. Perhaps it is the fact that it is her birthday. Perhaps it is the fact that I was at Powell’s yesterday and it’s just not the same without her. Perhaps it is even that I am reading one of the only fiction books I will ever pick up because she introduced me to the author. I just don’t know. Maybe I am just tired from writing things that I don’t like. It’s kinda exhausting to take something you love and use it for something you don’t really. I am exhausted and as I look behind me at my bed I desperately crave my trip to dream land. I don’t exactly feel burnt out… I think I’m a little sick. And a little bored. I perceive a lack of challenge or adventure in pretty much every area of my life at this point. It is pretty normal (whatever that means) and I’m not sure where it’s going. I have all of these dreams and plans but you never really know which ones will pan out.

I still desire to fund my own organization for at-risk youth but the idea that I once had in mind has now changed a great deal. I have to rethink my mission and build a new foundation.

To be honest I think that I would rather be reading my new book that I purchased from Powell’s yesterday. I so desperately would love a cup of hot cocoa and a good book… I think that would hit the spot and bring laughter into my life. Plus… it might take my mind off of neurons for a couple of hours!