Sky Stars and Sea Clouds

It appears as if the last few days I have been wearing my heart on my sleeve. My emotions are more than apparent… they are displayed for everyone to see. This is very uncharacteristic for me. I can’t help but smile in adornment as I see his smile. I am desperately trying to avoid any attraction to him. He can’t even know. Though I’m sure that he already does. He must. I swoon. But if by some miracle he hasn’t noticed I pray that he never does. I have no intention of making him uncomfortable, of disrupting his life. He’s too beautiful for that. I’m not talking about the physical beauty (though he has that too)… he’s just an overall beautiful person. I think that’s what makes it more difficult. I wish it were easy. I am devoted to walking away. To pushing it behind. I feel crazy. He fills my thoughts and I try to void them. And for half a second I think I do… but then I catch a glimpse of those glassware eyes. Who knows maybe they just reflect my own. But I don’t want him on my mind. I can’t have him there. I have other topics that should be dressing my thoughts. I have issues that should be lacing my mind. He is just a distraction. So please somebody help me… I really do need to sew my heart back in my chest. I hate wearing it on my sleeve! The transparency is killing me.

And as for life it general I must admit that it is quite tolerable. I enjoy living it on most days. I am happy to be alive. I am happy to be living out my calling and using my talents to the best of my ability. I thrive knowing that these minutes aren’t being wasted… they are being inspired. And when I die, and someday I will… I know that I will have lived a good life. Even if it happens to be tomorrow. I know that my life was not lived in vain.

Alright here I go… I’m falling asleep listening to a distant train. I should already be asleep. Afteral I have a belt test tomorrow.