Uncomfortable but Beautiful
It’s been an interesting journey… the last 24 or so months of my life. I found out a lot about people, those around me and myself. The change is incredible. But it can be completely uncomfortable at times too. I am a bit of a shy person… it doesn’t really seem like it when you get to know me but I am. It’s hard for me to step out of my comfort zone to reach out and connect with others who do not already know me. That’s why I push myself.
It is my philosophy that part of life is sharing it with others. But I feel weird… like I’m crossing some kind of invisible line. It’s uncomfortable to reach out to the unknown. But if no one ever did can you imagine how cold the world would be? People should be appreciated and loved… even when its uncomfortable. It’s not easy but its worth it… even if you yourself never get anything directly from it. One by one I believe that we can change the world in small but meaningful ways.
I smile at strangers. I know that it’s dangerous. Life is dangerous. If it wasn’t it wouldn’t be worth living. My life is worth living. Despite the danger. Despite the pain. My life is worth living. I want to be a difference maker. I might just be young and stupid enough to believe that I can still make a difference. What is it about aging that makes us quit trying? Maybe it is the experience or the pain or the disappointment or the discouragement. I’m not giving up yet. I may not completely change the world… but I can make a difference… one person at a time. One awkward, uncomfortable, risk taking situation at a time.
This week has been a week full of risk taking awkward adventures. I felt human. I felt powerless. I thought I was. As I stood there and let their tears flow onto my shoulder. As I listened to their pulsing breaths explain the pain that they were experiencing. I listened with my ears, but more importantly with my heart. These people are more than mere souls sharing the earth with me, with us. We weren’t intended to just pass them by and ignore the adventure. It is in people that the real adventure begins… this is what makes life extraordinary. People make life extraordinary. I don’t want it to be ordinary. Now I know it’s terrifying. I do.
I’ve been abandoned. I’ve been broken. I’ve been beat down. I’ve been left to rot. That’s the reason I want to be different.
I’ve crawled out of the trenches. I know that there will be times that I get pushed back in… heaven knows it’s happened more times than I can count… but it isn’t over until I quit climbing. Or until I start purposely pushing others in. I don’t want to make the world a colder place. I want to be a difference maker like my difference makers were to me. Difference makers are risk takers. I suppose I’ve always been a risk taker… not always in a good way. There is a difference you know. I’ve taken stupid risks too. They made life interesting but not extraordinary.
Anyway… what it boils down to is: People are important. Don’t waste your time on things that aren’t. Sometimes the things that scare us the most, that make us incredibly uncomfortable, are the things that are the most worthwhile. Take changes. Don’t be afraid to get hurt. Don’t be afraid to crawl out of the trench when you are pushed in (you will be pushed in sometimes) and don’t look at humans as just passing souls sharing the earth with you until their time is up. Welcome them into your life… share what you have and let them share theirs. It wont be easy. But I guarantee that it will be worthwhile.
Does this mean jump in carelessly? No. It just means to put your toe in… the water may be cold but it might be nice to understand why. You may not be able to change them, and once you get to know them you may not want to. In the end… you may just realize that there is more to your life than you thought was there. You will discover yourself as you get to know others. Discover life. It’s beautiful.