The Leaves fell… the snow fell and now the flowers bloom

I knew I had become an adult when bills began to pile on the counter and life wasn’t about the pleasure I would gain from the following day but rather making sure that I was doing what I could to simply enough get by without focusing solely on myself. 

I knew that I was adult the first time I didn’t have someone to call when I had a serious problem.. and had to learn how to  solve it myself. I knew that I had become an adult the day that I understood that my faith hadn’t arrived but that it itself was a long bold journey. 

I could see that I was an adult the day that I learned that right and wrong isn’t always a simple black and white matter. I learned that I was an adult the moment I realized that falling in love is hard but losing that love is a lot more difficult.  I realized I was an adult when I learned that my actions effect others actions.

 I became an adult when I knew that my needs had to be set aside to benefit others. I knew that I was an adult when I realized that sometimes I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others (kind of like when on an airplane and the masks fall… you put yours on first then assist others).  I realized I was an adult when I had to get past the hard stuff… the difficult stuff… the unsettling stuff because it’s part of life. It’s the way things have to be sometimes. 

I knew that I had become a woman the day that I actually understood that “PRIDE COMES BEFORE THE FALL.” That story is still hard to tell. I knew that I was a woman the day that I understood that “Less is More” and “Pleasure now results in Pain later.” and “Good things come to those who wait.” I didn’t understand these things as a child. One day life experience snuck in and BAM! My eyes were opened. I was forever changed. I find that adulthood is much like faith… and much like learning… YOU NEVER REACH YOUR PEAK. You continually grow into adulthood. You never just ARRIVE.  This is life. 

There are things that others have experienced that I haven’t yet, things that I may never experience. BUT I guarantee that there are things that I too have experienced that others have not and may never experiences. We are all equal in this journey of life. We will dive. We will sink. We will swim. We will float. We will tread. We will gasp. We will flail. We will choke. We will laugh. We will splash. We will…

The leaves fell when I was a child, when we were all children.  Everything was colorful and new. We would jump into a pile of leaves just to see them fly and we didn’t think about anything being hidden inside. It was exciting. Eyes wide open… floating into the unknown with absolutely no fear.

And then came the snow… white and pure until somebody came along and peed on it. Pre teen to high school was a blizzard. It was cold and slippery at times. Others it was fast and exciting. Sometimes we crashed. Sometimes we soared. Sometimes we made angels other times we made ugly snowmen. We were stuck between seasons. We would melt and then freeze when it came to love and relationships. It is here that we realize that we cannot always control when we fall but we begin to learn how to get back up. Our eyes were open but we proceeded with much more caution.

And now it’s spring and the flowers are blooming. It rains a lot but there is an equal amount of sunshine… more in some places. We experience thunder storms and lightning storms. Things flash before us… things we have experienced and things that we want to experience. We have hopes. We have dreams. We want to run wild but we understand what could be hiding behind beauty… and it stinks. If you get too close you will too. Yet we still take the risks because the beauty outweighs the consequences. We work hard to get by… and walk through the rain. Why do we walk through the rain? Because we know that there is a good chance that if we keeping going at some point we will run straight into sunshine. We glance up at sun rays and feel as though we can see straight up to heaven. We know that there is more to life than what we see right in front of us.  whether it is  morning fog… or a crazy RAIN STORM… or a pathless hike in the woods. It is here that we have learned that we cannot control all of the things that happen around us but we can choose how to react to them. Some pity themselves. Others… well…we begin to look at and appreciate smaller scaled things like hearing the rain on roof or listening to the birds sing.  We see that there are so many different colors and sensations because for once we are paying attention, for once we realize the importance and beauty. Even the smallest thing can give insight in the biggest way… so instead of trying to rush we find ways to prolong. We don’t desire to know the future because we realize that it is more important to live in the present. This is why we find ourselves picking flowers for loved ones (be it romantic or ailing or grieving or a random smile), finding small amounts of time to slow down  and hoping to catch a glimpse of sun rays and rainbows… even on the cloudiest days.