I should warn you now… little of this blog actually has anything to do with Beers, Bars or Beautiful People…okay 🙂Yesterday I think I went to bed at 17 and today I woke up at 23. It’s strange. It’s weird to look in the mirror and see someone 6 years older than I should be! Don’t ask me where that time went because I couldn’t tell you. Life happened and my clock sped up. So much has happened. Yesteday I went out to Colton, the place I grew up, for the first time in quite some time. And it hit me just how much I had going for me at 17. I was involved in everything under the sun… student council, executive council, Theatre, the community, a youth group and the list could go on and on. At 17 I felt like I was on top of the world. I had some really amazing friends… ones that I did everything with and shared everything with. And then I went to college… occassionally I find myself truly regretting college… it’s set me back in more ways than I can count. But it’s also changed who I am. When I see that 23 year old in the mirror… I don’t always find myself pleased. I find myself alone in one of the most beautiful cities I could ever imagine to live in. And gradually in the last six months I have accumulated new friends… friends whom I love a great deal. We laugh and cry together but most importantly we experiance life together. It’s as if the last six months has created an entirely new me. I feel as if my name deserves another change to go with the face. Ok… I do look like the same person but I feel like a new person. Anyway…. nastalgia fluttered through my brain like butterflies on a warm spring day. I kind of missed what I had. It made me a little sad. And made me realize all that I had given up to persue a dream that I thought I wanted. And I have attained the dream that I thought I wanted… I have attained a lot. But I can finally grasp all the good that I once had. And I know that as I go through life and make something of myself that I will have that again. The truth is that I have always known exactly what I wanted… A simple life filled with love for others. Not expecting much in return. Enough money to live but not any more than that. No Mansion. No Millionare. Just a simple life filled with love for others. I think I’ve always know that the secret to life isn’t about success or money or how much stuff I could accumulate but rather the people whose lives I had the opportunity to impact in a postive manner. Relationships and Compassion and Integrity. I can reflect back on the last six years and see where I got sidetracked… and what I could of changed but the beauty of it all is that my life isn’t over. I can continue to live my life to the fullest. Because for me full isn’t in material gain… it’s measured in the people around me. They love me so much, much more than I can understand at times. I love that. They are there. That’s what matters. And each day I realize just how gifted and blessed I am that each of them were placed in my life. I don’t have to find happiness in beer or try to go out and meet beautiful people in bars… Because in a sense I am already full… does that make life perfect with no need for improvement? NO 🙂 There’s always room for that!
