http:\/\/video.xanga.com\/xangavideoplayer.swf?i=878742&m=2c67a<\/a> <\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Something like that.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It is heartbreaking when someone you know no longer follows the life they once had stood so firm in. Some people have this feeling of an apex, where they don’t want to come down off the high. That would be lovely.. yet not so realistic. When falling, coming down they then grasp onto the faith they once had, like a friend that was apart of your life for one short season.. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It fades to a memory.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Soon – it is viewed as if a great romance that once filled these lungs is to never come again….<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You are either growing or not. Now, if you aren’t growing you aren’t moving closer to God; therefore getting further away. You are constantly in a struggle, in a battle.. moving either closer or further from Him.. and it isn’t God whose moving.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Christianity… ah yes such a struggle. I struggle with God – on my own will over his.. I struggle hearing, knowing, following..<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Yet this faith within me stirs, it calls me and urges me to move – to act. Faith without works wasn’t something I had mapped out in my mind before I embarked on this journey. I am sure most people don’t look at buying a car to ride in the passenger seat the whole time they own it.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
…and my inhibitions? I attempt to leave them at the door. Some always seem to sneak up.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I have sought to act. Attempted at doing so and there are always things stacking against it. I sometimes feel defeated. Praying constantly for opportune times and ways to act – influence, go where I’m needed… yet still sometimes this defeated sense engulfs my every bit of being. I don’t say these things to give myself kudos..<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I love the song by Jars of Clay – Faith Like a Child.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Father.. I can barely stand on my own. Yet I often am too embarrassed to accept help or seek it.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Messiah… save us. Save me.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
In this post, I seek to come across in an open and honest manner. I’ve been working out my inhibitions on my knees, which is where it should be done.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The point of this? Wasn’t to call anybody out.. just something I have been thinking about for a few weeks.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
just Pray.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hey -deep post.. might even invoke thinking – thats your warning- I have called, prayed and sought to never be spiritually content with my actions, with my life… to always be seeking, growing.. pushing. Ever since I took Christianity seriously. I’ve been thinking of doing a blog like this for a while, but it seems fitting to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1026,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2003\/09\/07\/8\/","url_meta":{"origin":740,"position":0},"title":"So I woke up today\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"September 7, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"So I woke up today and wanted to fall back asleep. 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I even strayed away from the drama... and this is the outcome :DCxr7: hiEshox23: heyDCxr7: so.o do you want to go to the Blazers game?DCxr7: if you don't let me know and I'll find someone else to go.. then we wont have to waste the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2460,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2003\/09\/19\/21\/","url_meta":{"origin":740,"position":4},"title":"Today was a good day,\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"September 19, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Today was a good day, like so many others now that I've got Sabrina.So last night we talked, and I really feel like we had some things that needed to be said. I think we can really have a deep long GREAT relationship. 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