{"id":512,"date":"2006-06-20T02:43:00","date_gmt":"2006-06-20T02:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/?p=512"},"modified":"2006-06-20T02:43:00","modified_gmt":"2006-06-20T02:43:00","slug":"512","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2006\/06\/20\/512\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hate Me <\/p>\n<p>I have to block out thoughts of you so I don&#8217;t lose my head<br \/>They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed<br \/>Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I&#8217;m alone<br \/>Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home<br \/>There&#8217;s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain<br \/>An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?<br \/>And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?<br \/>And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space<\/p>\n<p>Hate me today<br \/>Hate me tomorrow<br \/>Hate me for all the things I didn&#8217;t do for you<\/p>\n<p>Hate me in ways<br \/>Yeah ways hard to swallow<br \/>Hate me so you can finally see what&#8217;s good for you<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m sober now for 3 whole months it&#8217;s one accomplishment that you helped me with<br \/>The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won&#8217;t touch again<br \/>In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night<br \/>While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight<br \/>You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate<br \/>You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take<br \/>So I&#8217;ll drive so ****** far away that I never cross your mind<br \/>And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind<\/p>\n<p>Hate me today<br \/>Hate me tomorrow<br \/>Hate me for all the things I didn&#8217;t do for you<\/p>\n<p>Hate me in ways<br \/>Yeah ways hard to swallow<br \/>Hate me so you can finally see what&#8217;s good for you<\/p>\n<p>And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave<br \/>Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made<br \/>And like a baby boy I never was a man<br \/>Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand<br \/>And then I fell down yelling &#8220;make it go away!&#8221;<br \/>Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be<br \/>And then she whispered &#8220;How can you do this to me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Hate me today<br \/>Hate me tomorrow<br \/>Hate me for all the things I didn&#8217;t do for you<\/p>\n<p>Hate me in ways<br \/>Yeah ways hard to swallow<br \/>Hate me so you can finally see what&#8217;s good for you<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;they are lyrics.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hate Me I have to block out thoughts of you so I don&#8217;t lose my headThey crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bedDropping little reels of tape to remind me that I&#8217;m alonePlaying movies in my head that make a porno feel like homeThere&#8217;s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":656,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2007\/10\/10\/656\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":0},"title":"HeyTonight the Blazers kickoff in\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"October 10, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"HeyTonight the Blazers kickoff in the first preseason game. Against the Clippers at 7pm, so where one season ended, another begins. I wouldn't have minded the overlap though.I haven't written anything in a while so I thought Id hop on here.The featured question is: Do you ever get writer's block?\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":366,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2005\/05\/31\/366\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":1},"title":"Howdy Doo-de.So what's up? How\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"May 31, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Howdy Doo-de.So what's up? How is everyone?From what I hear.. pretty good overall.I'm doin alright. Today went by quick, but I think its because I woke up at 12:30.I didn't get to sleep until 3, so its not my fault.It was good.. I got invited to go over Andy's because\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8366,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2023\/03\/23\/hope\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":2},"title":"HOPE","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"March 23, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"hey I LOVE NF's music. If you didn't catch that in the last few years then you really missed something. One of his latest songs has been in my head as of late. So I wanted to share it. https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/tsmPCi7NKrg just Pray","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/marhopesong.png?fit=885%2C372&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/marhopesong.png?fit=885%2C372&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/marhopesong.png?fit=885%2C372&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/marhopesong.png?fit=885%2C372&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":269,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2004\/11\/24\/269\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":3},"title":"I've gotten lots of good\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"November 24, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"I've gotten lots of good feedback on my updated xanga.Thats good, becuase I like it too.I'm chillin' right now, not doing much other than listening to music... Enjoying my days offBlazers won yesterday! Good stuff.I didn't like the front of Jshox.com so I redid the picturehttp:\/\/www.jshox.com http:\/\/photos.jshox.com Anyway.. I'm gunna\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":296,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2005\/01\/23\/296\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":4},"title":"Updatehttp:\/\/xanga.jshox.com http:\/\/www.jshox.com http:\/\/music.jshox.com HeySo why\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"January 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Updatehttp:\/\/xanga.jshox.com http:\/\/www.jshox.com http:\/\/music.jshox.com HeySo why haven't I made this journal personal anymore? I don't want Emily knowing anything that goes on in my life. I think it is time she moved on and stopped viewing my site. 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POW!\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/512","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=512"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/512\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}