{"id":512,"date":"2006-06-20T02:43:00","date_gmt":"2006-06-20T02:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/?p=512"},"modified":"2006-06-20T02:43:00","modified_gmt":"2006-06-20T02:43:00","slug":"512","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2006\/06\/20\/512\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hate Me <\/p>\n<p>I have to block out thoughts of you so I don&#8217;t lose my head<br \/>They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed<br \/>Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I&#8217;m alone<br \/>Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home<br \/>There&#8217;s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain<br \/>An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?<br \/>And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?<br \/>And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space<\/p>\n<p>Hate me today<br \/>Hate me tomorrow<br \/>Hate me for all the things I didn&#8217;t do for you<\/p>\n<p>Hate me in ways<br \/>Yeah ways hard to swallow<br \/>Hate me so you can finally see what&#8217;s good for you<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m sober now for 3 whole months it&#8217;s one accomplishment that you helped me with<br \/>The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won&#8217;t touch again<br \/>In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night<br \/>While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight<br \/>You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate<br \/>You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take<br \/>So I&#8217;ll drive so ****** far away that I never cross your mind<br \/>And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind<\/p>\n<p>Hate me today<br \/>Hate me tomorrow<br \/>Hate me for all the things I didn&#8217;t do for you<\/p>\n<p>Hate me in ways<br \/>Yeah ways hard to swallow<br \/>Hate me so you can finally see what&#8217;s good for you<\/p>\n<p>And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave<br \/>Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made<br \/>And like a baby boy I never was a man<br \/>Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand<br \/>And then I fell down yelling &#8220;make it go away!&#8221;<br \/>Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be<br \/>And then she whispered &#8220;How can you do this to me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Hate me today<br \/>Hate me tomorrow<br \/>Hate me for all the things I didn&#8217;t do for you<\/p>\n<p>Hate me in ways<br \/>Yeah ways hard to swallow<br \/>Hate me so you can finally see what&#8217;s good for you<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;they are lyrics.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hate Me I have to block out thoughts of you so I don&#8217;t lose my headThey crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bedDropping little reels of tape to remind me that I&#8217;m alonePlaying movies in my head that make a porno feel like homeThere&#8217;s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":392,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2005\/07\/26\/392\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":0},"title":"Last night.. 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We lost the game, but this is the first game in which someone had tried to start a fight with me at the game.\"it's people like you that make it\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 1 comment","block_context":{"text":"With 1 comment","link":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2008\/11\/23\/751\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":275,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2004\/12\/02\/275\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":3},"title":"Another post thats now unprotected.Wednesday,\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"December 2, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Another post thats now unprotected.Wednesday, December 01, 2004 So.. this is the email of the day.Becca, I was hoping that you would have just forgotten about that. But no, of course not. It's a shame... I wasn't going to mention it if you weren't. Questions of your email : Wasn't\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1661,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2013\/02\/09\/resigned-to-the-fact\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":4},"title":"Resigned to the fact","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"February 9, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Hey This title seems to imply something positive? Perhaps. \u00a0The truth is: I am getting rather discouraged by this non-job finding atmosphere. \u00a0It really\u00a0bothers me beyond belief\u00a0. I am starting to resign to the fact that I will be stuck in a shoddy call center type job long term if\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 2 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 2 comments","link":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2013\/02\/09\/resigned-to-the-fact\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_1470","src":"https:\/\/dcxr7.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/02\/img_1470.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/dcxr7.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/02\/img_1470.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1 1x, https:\/\/dcxr7.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/02\/img_1470.jpg?w=525&h=300&crop=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":850,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2010\/12\/04\/850\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":5},"title":"Outlook. I think people's outlook\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"December 4, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Outlook. 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