{"id":12089,"date":"2025-11-14T09:46:42","date_gmt":"2025-11-14T17:46:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/?p=12089"},"modified":"2025-11-18T09:44:50","modified_gmt":"2025-11-18T17:44:50","slug":"fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2025\/11\/14\/fear\/","title":{"rendered":"FEAR"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Last night at 9 PM Pacific Time (or midnight EST), NF released his Album, &#8220;Fear&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I can relate to this Album. Feeling like you&#8217;ve already peaked where you are at? Feeling like you are making the same mistakes you have made over and over again? Lost the map to hope, or maybe thinking that you&#8217;ve never really had it at all? Yeah. All that and more put in a neat little bow and wrapped up nicely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just look at some of these lyrics: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Made a promise to myself I wouldn&#8217;t let the fear back in, but then I did though (Woah)<br><em>Told the world that I was sick of runnin&#8217;, then went back to runnin&#8217;,<\/em> what a joke (Woah)<br>Disappointed, yeah, me too, I thought I finally had finally made a breakthrough, guess not (Oh, oh, oh)<br><em>It&#8217;s the same song and dance,<\/em> you&#8217;ve all seen it before<br>Darkness holds out his hand, then we walk to the floor<br>Every decision made isn&#8217;t mine anymore<br><em>Like a puppet with strings, I just don&#8217;t have a choice<\/em><br>What&#8217;s the truth? What&#8217;s a lie?<br><strong>Help me God, help me Lord<\/strong><br>Face your fears, dry your eyes<br>Grandma died, what&#8217;s the point?<br>Lost the keys,<em> lost my hope, lost my will, lost my joy<\/em><br>Lost a friend, lost my home,<em> lost my faith, lost my voice<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>And now the video:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"NF - FEAR\" width=\"720\" height=\"405\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lLFoLJIXayk?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then he followed up that video with this one:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"NF - WASHED UP\" width=\"720\" height=\"405\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Kyng8yYwvwg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Outside of those two, he has a song that I personally like a lot and strikes a chord with me: &#8216;Who I Was.&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"NF, mgk - WHO I WAS (Audio)\" width=\"720\" height=\"405\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/J7nwTWxdJbw?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Two parts of this song &#8211; first part sung by MGK:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>I hid from God for more than two decades of life<br>And when I came back to the light, He didn&#8217;t ask me if I&#8217;m Christian still<br>Just opened up His arms and embraced me like I&#8217;m His Son<br>Erasin&#8217; all the archetypes of what people like me become<br>Since I was young, my personality split like serpent&#8217;s tongue<br>But all the poison in my body still ain&#8217;t make me numb<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>And then the NF part:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Need to take a breath and calm down<br>Try to regulate, don&#8217;t know how<br>Wasn&#8217;t taught that in my house<br>Kids of my own, I step back<br>Look at those smiles and feel sad<br>Hope they don&#8217;t wind up like Dad<br>Stuck in this loop like I am<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My temper gets the best of me<br>A part of me that I wish I knew how to get rid of<br>It&#8217;s the issue I have, my M.O<br>Say I need you and I love you to death<br>Then turn around and go and treat you like you nothin&#8217; but trash<br>I know\u2014 <br>&#8230;.<br>Sometimes, I Lash out<br>Need to take a breath and calm down<br>Try to regulate, don&#8217;t know how<br>Wasn&#8217;t taught that in my house<br>Kids of my own, I step back<br>Look at those smiles and feel sad<br>Hope they don&#8217;t wind up like Dad<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Take a listen if you have a chance, and let me know what you think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>just Pray<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last night at 9 PM Pacific Time (or midnight EST), NF released his Album, &#8220;Fear&#8221;. I can relate to this Album. Feeling like you&#8217;ve already peaked where you are at? Feeling like you are making the same mistakes you have made over and over again? Lost the map to hope, or maybe thinking that you&#8217;ve&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12090,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12089","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/nf-fear.gif?fit=373%2C131&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":537,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2006\/08\/28\/537\/","url_meta":{"origin":12089,"position":0},"title":"Coastal times","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"August 28, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Long time since my last post, and I always have more stuff to talk about. Mostly always. This weekend I went down to Coos bay, OR with the family.\u00a0 We stayed at a local Motel 6 (that's right, we leave the light on for you.)\u00a0 It was good-- the whole\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/08\/0827061222a.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/08\/0827061222a.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/08\/0827061222a.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/08\/0827061222a.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/08\/0827061222a.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":649,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2007\/09\/29\/649\/","url_meta":{"origin":12089,"position":1},"title":"hey nowyour an all star,\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"September 29, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"hey nowyour an all star, get your game on- go play!uh, yepThat sums it all up...I just shot off an email and decided to come back to this. I pressed send to the email while not re-reading it to see if it made sense or if all my words had\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":336,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2005\/04\/07\/336\/","url_meta":{"origin":12089,"position":2},"title":"SoToday seemed to be a\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"April 7, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"SoToday seemed to be a bad day for my teams. Why? The Blazers and the Yankees lost.Rah.What else? I guess it was a pretty good day for me.. all things considered. I got this letter from my manager today saying that I was going to be recognized at lunch for\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":639,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2007\/08\/08\/639\/","url_meta":{"origin":12089,"position":3},"title":"My headache is just about\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"August 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"My headache is just about over.I had two hours of sleep last night.\u00a0 I wish I would be tired now considering its 2:42am but no, I'm stuck being wide awake.\u00a0 Last night I laid in bed for like 5 to 6 hours just tossing and turning.\u00a0 If I am going\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":236,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2004\/10\/14\/236\/","url_meta":{"origin":12089,"position":4},"title":"HeyInteresting day...I never.. I make\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"October 14, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"HeyInteresting day...I never.. I make a rule.. I never give out my last name.. at work.. Were not required to.. so I never do.\u00a0 Today a guy was giving me all this crap about an appointment he had but somehow it got lost.\u00a0 So I assured him it was set\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":638,"url":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2007\/08\/08\/638\/","url_meta":{"origin":12089,"position":5},"title":"So, Yankees game today...did you\u2026","author":"me@jshox.com","date":"August 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"So, Yankees game today...did you see some of the hilights?Woah.And.. poor MIGGY!Good thing is, that miggy's mama is okay.I've had a pretty horrible headache all day and I couldn't sleep more than an hour or so last night.i n s o m n i a . . . .It's all\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 1 comment","block_context":{"text":"With 1 comment","link":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/2007\/08\/08\/638\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12089","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12089"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12089\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12237,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12089\/revisions\/12237"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12089"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12089"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jshox.com\/jay\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12089"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}